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Friday, June 30, 2006
Okay, So I Fine Now..

2 good things happening + 1 bad thing = Still a pretty good weekend.

Today, we received our acceptance letter that we have been waiting for. I knew we were already accepted, but having it in my hand, makes me feel more secure!

Also today is Mr.'s 37th birthday. It started off kinda rocky, but I am staying home tonight instead of going out with some friends, and I am going to the store to buy a cake, pick up pizza and coming home to watch a movie. Usually, I have a birthday party for him, but as ya'll know we had other things going on. He's okay with it all, of course, he may just be too OLD to care! ha!

Oh, and sugarpuss*, I know when Im not on the computer and not looking, you get on here to see what I have to say....Happy Birthday and I love you!

*Sugarpuss is Mr.

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 4:37 PM

All Hope Is Now Gone..

The call came in early this morning. It's official, we won't be receiving the girl and boy. My heart breaks, again.

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 9:24 AM

Thursday, June 29, 2006

No call, no children, not happy. Bastards didn't call. I hate being disrespected.

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 7:34 PM


It is now 4:00pm, we should be hearing something by 5:00 on if we are getting the babies. I am sitting here by the phone waiting...I would say patiently, but I would be lying.

I am so nervous I don't know if I want to cry or vomit.

The end.

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 4:04 PM

Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!

Okay, I am going to see if I can be calm enough to make sense..If I don't..sorry.

So, after my pity party last night I decided to call someone else in the office. When I did, she told me that the guy I have been working with, his son passed away on the 22nd. (NOW i feel guilty for the bad bad bad thought I had about him)

So, anyway, she told me "Of course you were approved" and that she is just now getting to all of his paperwork and that she would mail the "official letter" today.

And then...it happened...

She said, " I think I have a family for you."

As of tomorrow I may be the mommy to a 2.5 year old girl and a 4 month old baby boy.

We will know for definate tomorrow around 4pm or so. I will keep ya'll updated!

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 11:24 AM

Tuesday, June 27, 2006
I'm Tired.

As you all know, we are in the process of adoption. We started this process knowing it was going to be a long roller coaster ride. (We're not THAT naive) When we had our first meeting it was on April 7, 2006. We were told within 120 days we would be finished with the application process and then the waiting game would start. August 5th will be the 120th day...and we were okay with that.

On May 25th we had our final homestudy where all of the paperwork was in order. We had finished our adoption classes, fingerprinted, criminal background checked..everything was ready. We were then told we would have an answer within 2 weeks. Two weeks would have been June 8th. June 8th passed and finally I was told we would be called on June 21st to let us know if we were accepted.

As I sit here, June 27th, with no answers. I am heartbroken. I have left emails, I have left voicemail messages and I have cried. (I have also screamed to the top of my lungs, when I've been home alone) It's like everyone has forgotten about us. I am sure the office is busy, and the world doesn't revolve around me, so I feel so guilty to be whining about this. But, and yes, there's always a but. With as much heartache as I've been through in my life (pity party will start now) I finally felt something was going to go right. There was going to be no more fertility medications to take, no more positive pregnancy test to get everyone excited and then weeks later having to let them down with the loss of the baby. I finally saw "my family" in the future. I dream at night of sitting around and laughing at the cute faces the baby is making. I see my friends children growing up and hoping I would get a baby soon, so they could have friends like mine.

I don't really ask for much. I asked God for a wonderful husband, I received that wish. He loves me. Me makes me believe I am a princess and always makes sure I am safe. I love him and would do anything for him, except...have a child. Sometimes I feel so guilty not being able to give him what he wants. He has never told me that he WANTS children, but the gleam in his eyes when I have told him I'm pregnant...priceless. I knew at the moment when I told him I was pregnant, that was something he had secretly been wishing for. With my first miscarriage..he held my hand the whole way. We cried together, we mourned together. I could hear our hearts breaking at the same time.

Everytime I lost a baby, he would tell me it's okay, we can try again. But, guess what? I'm tired of trying. I am tired of the process. I am tired of the waiting with no response. I am tired of the not knowing. Right now, I am trying to figure out what we are going to do. I told Mr. tonight, that maybe we weren't meant to have a baby. We can survive without children, people do it all the time...but once again, with that statement...I hear our hearts breaking all over again.

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 10:24 PM

Sunday, June 25, 2006
Random Thought...

How is it, hubby and I can go HOURS without talking, but as soon as I go to the bathroom...

He has to come in to tell me something?!?!?!

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 6:54 PM

Saturday, June 24, 2006
A Birthday Is Coming...

Mr. TSBs birthday is on the 30th. This is the first year I havent already planned something. Usually, we have a birthday party with cake, presents and fun. This year? I have no idea what we are going to do. I think he has figured out that I haven't thought much about it. Birthdays and holidays are fun around here. I normally ask for a list of stuff the "birthday boy or girl" wants and I aim to please. This year I havent even asked for the list. I guess I need to get my butt in gear and do something, plan something, or at least think about it.

Last year was the first year I baked the birthday cake. It was really goofy looking and it leaned a little..but the taste? Awesome!

This is what I want to do this year...looks yummy..right?

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 10:51 AM

Thursday, June 22, 2006
The Day After...

I heard nothing yesterday. Nothing.

I have left a voicemail message and email.

I'll let you know when I hear something...good or bad.

Thanks for all the prayers and positive comments...its appreciated greatly!

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 10:11 AM

Wednesday, June 21, 2006
THE Day...

Todays the day....(scary music playing)...I hope I get the phone call.

Please, cross your fingers...your toes..and say a little prayer!

I will update as soon as I find something out.


12:31....Nothing! (picks up the phone)..Yep, it's still working. Ring damnit! Ring!!!

3:51....Nothing!! (cries and cries) Why do I do this to myself? I should have known better than to get my hopes up.

5:46....Office has been officially closed for 46 minutes. Today, I didn't receive a phone call. I am hoping it's not a bad sign, just a bad day.

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 8:31 AM

Monday, June 19, 2006
2 Days And Counting...

Well, we have 2 days left before I am SUPPOSED to receive a phone call. Let's hope we do, and pray it's good. I am hoping to be approved and we can move on.

You may be wondering what we have have been doing and where I've been. Well, we decided to put together the crib, changing table, stroller, high chair, rocking chair...list goes on and on.

We are ready for the phone call..and we are NOW ready for the baby...we are not patient people around here!

baby 006
Mr. TSB brought this home Thursday. He is SO excited! (on the foot it says "Babys First Teddy)

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 3:14 PM

Wednesday, June 14, 2006
New Design?

Im looking for a new design for this blog. Actually, for a different blog, for our future parenting adventures. Does anyone know where I can get someone to design one for me? Fairly reasonable? Quick?

If anyone knows of a designer..let me know...

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 10:18 PM

Random Rambling...

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 10:05 AM

Friday, June 09, 2006
Two Things...


I have been VERY sick. Sick! My stomach has been hurting and I can't keep any food down..or in for that matter. I decided to go to the Dr. today..the results? My nerves. Shocking aint it? She told me to relax. Relax? Does she not know what I've been going through? Is she not the Dr. that had to fill out my 4 page medical report? She's nuts! So, I was told to relax, take walks, keep myself busy, etc. etc. Oh and gave me something to "calm" my stomach.


Last Wednesday, when I posted and said nothing was being done with our paperwork, the guy must have heard the disappointment in my voice or could see the tears running down my face over the phone..because what did he do? He came over to visit and had our final paperwork that will have to be signed when we are approved. He promised me that the process would get started and on the 21st of this month, he will personally call me and let me know one way or another. The 21st!! Thats less than 2 weeks away. Do you realize I could be a mom in less than a month? Do ya? Do ya?

A little side note: the number 21 is a special number in our family. All things good happens on the 21st. Everyone gets married on the 21st, ALOT of birthdays fall on the 21st, our house number? 21. We moved into our house on the 21st. We received our packet of paperwork on the 21st. So, when he said the 21st I thought my heart was going to jump out of my body. Go 2-1!!!

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 8:37 PM

Thursday, June 08, 2006
The Freaks Come Out At Night...

For the last few weeks I have been trying to quit cursing and biting my nails. Yeah, I know neither has one to do with the other..but yet, I am trying, damnit!

Of course with this, craziness happens and the conversation we had last night is this..

Me: I havent been biting my nails but I feel the need...so can I bite yours?

Mr. TSB: No, ya freak (not even taking his eyes off the tv)

Me: To hell with it then

Mr. TSB: Ooohhhh you cursed..thats ching ching in the money jar!!

Me: Ching? Ching? NOW who's the freak?? Huh?

Mr TSB: Exactly!

Don't you wish you lived here??

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 1:42 PM

Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Is It Moving?

I found out today that our paperwork has not even started its process.

It's still sitting in a folder, untouched. I was told this morning..."Should be within 2 weeks."


I also need more ideas for Foto Friday...lets hear what you want to see...

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 1:01 PM

Monday, June 05, 2006

Yeah, I'm still around. This waiting game? Is. KILLING. ME. We have been shopping and bought a few things that we will need once we are accepted and receive a placement. So, the room we have decided will be the "baby room" is full of stuff just sitting on the floor. I refuse to let Mr. put anything together until the "Letter" is in our hand.

It's going on the 2nd week and we haven't received anything. I have been trying to keep myself busy but all I can think about is the letter. the letter! The Letter! THE LETTER! Grr..it needs to come already!

I know I haven't posted alot lately, mainly because nothing new is happening around here. I don't think it's even passed the first desk yet. We have to be approved by 3 seperate people.

I am thinking about bringing back Foto Friday...so if there is something you want to see, leave it in the comments section and I'll see what I can do about it. (You can pick something to see from my house, my town, etc....only no nudes because I would fear blinding you!)

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 4:18 PM

I'm a SAHM to 3 girls. We became foster parents in May 2006 in hopes of adoption. We love our girls and could never picture ourselves without them. Although life is much busier, we couldn't be any happier. Here's our story...