Sunday, April 01, 2007
Protector, Mom, Chearleader and Best Friend...
Many of you have no idea about my kids, some of you do, but not in detail. I guess I should give some background so you will know where I'm coming from. I received these kids through foster care. They were brought into the system for abuse. Severe abuse. So severe the babies (then 7 weeks old) were on the brink of death. We were told they may not make it out of the hospital. They made it out and have been in our house and our hearts ever since.Twin S had to have a shunt put in the drains fluid from her brain because of the damage from the blows to the head. She's fine. Developmentally she is a little behind but she is crawling now, sits up on her own and babbles (Dadadadadada and Babababababa)
Twin E, bless her heart, is having problems. She can't sit up, she can't roll over, she can't see very well and she doesn't babble, although she is starting to coo now. She had a seizure before she was admitted into the hospital and she's on 3 different medications. We went last week for a neurology appointment and although we were told semi good news last time we saw the neurosurgeon we didn't get good news this time. They showed me the CT scan and where the strokes were and the good parts of her brain. She is going to have MAJOR problems, and we are willing to deal with that.
So we have gone from a family of two (hubby and me) to a family of 5. As wonderful as that is and as happy as we are....we are a family of 5 with a disabled child. My nephew has Down Syndrome and I have seen how hard its been for my brother and sister in law to deal with it all, but I wasn't here in the beginning. The beginning is hard. HARD. Since E is a twin she is always with her sister. We get looks. I have been asked "what's wrong with THAT one?" and I have always just brushed it off. Today? While standing in line at a store I was asked "What's it like to have a beautiful child and a retarded child that are twins?" My heart stopped. Is this lady saying something is wrong with my child? Is she saying because E is disabled that she is LESS beautiful? I did what I felt was right, I cried. I cried all the way home.
My child has a long road to travel and we are getting as much help as we possible can, but is this what she has to look forward to? I feel so sorry for her. I don't feel sorry for us because we are a family, we respect each other and love each other...but the outside? not so much. People say with time the comments won't bother you as much but when I see a perfect child, although she has challenges, how can I not take hateful comments like a stab to the heart? I am hoping the world will change and she will never been shunned for the way she is but sadly enough it's not going to happen and I will just have to be her protector. Not only will I be her protector, mom and cheerleader...I will be her best friend.
link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 11:59 PM
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