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Friday, January 19, 2007
Quietness Usually Means Sadness..(At Least With Me)

Sorry I haven't posted in over a month and a half. I have really been speechless. There are things going on in my life that makes me wonder how I am going to keep what sanity I have left. Christmas was wonderful, the girls had fun and received alot of stuff from family, friends and Santa. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

So far our New Year isn't going so well. It's rather sad really.

Remember me telling you about my grandma? I call her Nanny and she rocks! She has been the coolest Nanny and I would consider her my best friend. Well, the first of December she had a mild stroke and was put into a rehab facility, she was release this past Tuesday after being told they had done everything they could. Well, Wednesday morning I received a phone call from my grandpa saying he couldn't wake her up and she was on her way back to the hospital. And then the call came in...she had another stroke. This stroke was considered massive and she in in a coma. They did another CT scan today and her brain is swelling and we are being told she will pass away within hours or days...usually never holds on over a week or so. My heart is hurting. My mom is devastated. My grandpa? He won't survive without her. They have been married for 55 years and have been best friends through good times and bad. Fifteen years ago my grandpa had to have a tumor removed from his brain, we were told it was the size of a grapefruit, and my Nanny helped him recover from that and he says it's his time to help her. The sad part is...it's too late.

My daughter (Twin E) went to the doctor in December and we were told something was wrong with her skull or brain that we needed to see a neurosurgeon. We knew she was delayed from the abuse but figured that's all it was. We went this past Tuesday and we were told most likely her brain has stopped growing. S.T.O.P.P.E.D. For a moment my heart stopped. After the inital shock we asked what was the next step, we were told IF that is the case there isn't much they can do. So, she has a CT scan scheduled for Tuesday at 10am and we will see her doctor at 10:30.

I really don't know how much more I can take. My heart is aching and I feel so sad all the time. I always dreamed of having a fairytale life...this is far from it. Although I have a wonderful family, husband and love my girls...it seems I am always taking one step forward, thirteen steps back.

I just ask for you to pray for us during this time. Prayer isn't something I normally depend on but I have tried everything else.

Sorry for such a depressing post...it will get better after I am over this little hurdle. Hopefully.

link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 11:44 PM

Anonymous Tasha had this to say:

oh hun.. i am sorry for the things you are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts. Keep strong! (Hugs)

12:32 AM 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:


I too am sorry to hear of your the things your having to go through right now. You and your family defintely will be in my prayers! Try to hold you head up high and be optimistic about things as much as you can. Things will begin to clear up soon & hopefully for the best in all of it. (MAJOR HUGS!!)

-Jess aka star_wolf84

2:18 AM 

Blogger feydargonet had this to say:

Jen I am terribly sorry for everything you are going through right now. You said your grandparents have been married for 55 years, that means she's probably in her mid 70's, I am sure she has lived a full and wonderful life! She is going to a much better place, she will be whole, happy, and healthy, and waiting for all of you when its your time. As for your daughter, I am so so sorry. I am scared to death of every little thing because my son was early and had so many problems, other day I was told his heart murmor hasn't went away like they had hoped and might have to fix it. There's no feeling like knowning there is something wrong with your child and there is nothing you can do. My heart and prayers go deeply out to you on this one. However, even though she is young, children since things, and you have to keep an optomistic out look for her. Miracles DO happen! God only gives you want you can handle, I hated hearing that, and occasionaly still do, but more time than not, I find it very true. I always thing about you and your family but I will keep you close in my prayers during this time of need. Hugs Sarah

1:38 PM 

Blogger debby had this to say:

Prayers aplenty headed your way..along with a few hugs, because you can never have too many of either...

9:51 AM 

Anonymous Angie had this to say:

I am so sorry to read of your troubles. It is hard to know what to say in times like these because every good intention sounds trite. Have faith, believe in miracles. One day at a time and you will get through anything and everything.

10:24 AM 

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I'm a SAHM to 3 girls. We became foster parents in May 2006 in hopes of adoption. We love our girls and could never picture ourselves without them. Although life is much busier, we couldn't be any happier. Here's our story...