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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
I'm Still Alive...

Today has been kinda rough. She is testing us now. Tonight after dinner we went to Sonics to get a drink and she SCREAMED for the whole parking lot to hear that she wanted fries. SCREAMED. FOR. TEN. MINUTES. Its embarassing and I really didn't know what to do, except once we got home she had to go straight to bed and was told no McDonalds tomorrow. We haven't really taken her out shopping, just a quick stop at Target for a bathing suit and it ended with her screaming. I became one of those parents that I hated. I just kept walking, letting her scream and got what I needed and left. Totally ignoring her. Am I right?

For the last 2 nights I have gone to bed crying, I don't know if it's from pure exhaustion or if I really am failing as a mother. I know she has been here only 4 days, but it's still total chaos around here. And when she gets upset..wanna know what she says? I want to go back to my real mommy. (my heart breaks every time)

But, I still stand firm by what I say, I refuse to have a child that eats anything, anytime she wants. (which is french fries. period.) I have told her she has to eat something green every night with her meal and she is doing okay with that rule. She is testing us to see what she can get away with, and we're not letting her.

It's time for me to go to bed, wish me luck tomorrow.


link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 10:34 PM






8 Comments:
Blogger faithful_wolf71 had this to say:

wouldnt it be nice if they came with a manual??? I'm still waiting for mine....It sounds like your doing a fine job...Im not an expert on parenting but when mine acts up I take away his tv and he hates that!!! Anything they like to do works... and as for the french fries thing I have a son addicted to Burger King and Im having probs breaking him of that(its just sooo much easier giving in than hearing him whine) Let me know how you break her of the french fries lolll Hugzzz

8:33 AM 

Blogger ZootsMom had this to say:

See, I don't hate mom's that just let the kids scream. At least they (the kids) know they won't get what they want and eventually they will stop. It may take a while and a bazillion tons of patients. I know I NEVER, EVER, gave my kids anything in a store. Nothing. If I knew they wanted something and they behaved themselves I'd go get it by myself and bring it home and thank them for being good. IT took time but it did work. You sound like you're being such a wonderful mom. Someone suggested the "Nanny" thing yesterday. If its that show, I agree. It such a great show as to how to handle kids. OK..Enough of that I'm not genius. Take care, sleep when you can and you will be fine. Just as soon as she quits testing you...and ma'am..that will take a while...:-) She's sounds very very smart....

9:17 AM 

Blogger Moon had this to say:

You're doing the right thing...according to Miss Manners (who I actually interviewed once) when a kid acts up in a public place, you should remove them from that place. And don't give into them if they are throwing tantrums and stuff. If you do, you're just reinforcing that she can throw a tantrum and get what she wants. Put her on time out-- 1 minute for each year of her age.
Of course she is testing her limits. She is a kid. It's got to be quite the change for her.
And she might need counseling or something. I'm not sure what her back story is, but maybe a family counselor would be a good idea. It would help you and her.

11:04 AM 

Anonymous cyndy had this to say:

Honey, I don't know what she's been through, but she is going to test you even if she had been with you since birth. I do think a family counseling would be good. Seriously. You aren't doing anything wrong, but this is a dynamic that is not easy and I applaud you for your love.

8:17 PM 

Blogger debby had this to say:

I SOOOOOOOOOOOOO APPLAUD YOU!!!!!! You are TOTALLY (am I using enough CAPS???) doing the right thing. She IS going to test you, and you are doing the best to stand your ground. A SUPER HUGE HUG to you guys.

2:46 PM 

Blogger feydargonet had this to say:

Sweetheart, kids will test you till death. I still test my mom sometimes. I've heard numerous times that when children are in adoptive/foster families they tend to push the a/f parents away because they are afraid of the parents "sending them back", so they are mean and ugly and through tantrums so they can say that they didn't like the parents and didn't want to be with them anyway. Give her sometime. Good for you for not letting in, that is the worse thing you can do! The greens thing is awesome, try letting her pick out which green she wants, either at the store or from the house. Involve her in things like that as much as you can. Anyway hun stick to your guns and keep your chin up. Hugs

2:50 PM 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

I agree totally. Do not give in. My 6 year old tests me and throws fits also , i ignore tham as well. Here is something I have done that seems to help a bit. When my daughter cleans her room she gets a quarter. She gets one for behaving through the day, cleaning up after herslef for not being told to, just about gets one for doing anything good. Then when we go to town she brings her quarters and has to buy the special things she wants. That might help. I also agree with fey....she could be scared of getting attatched and being sent back. Mommy and Me days could help to let her see that you love her and wont send her away. Good luck hun!!

Corina (grayeyed_wolf)

3:07 PM 

Blogger Laura had this to say:

I think you are doing the right thing. She has probably had very little teaching as far as "right" and "wrong" go.....its going to be a big adjustment period all around. Stay strong...dont let her get the best of you.

6:04 PM 

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I'm a SAHM to 3 girls. We became foster parents in May 2006 in hopes of adoption. We love our girls and could never picture ourselves without them. Although life is much busier, we couldn't be any happier. Here's our story...