Sunday, March 12, 2006
My Family? They Are Getting Nuts!
What happened to families putting fun in dysfunctional?? (This may end up being a long post..but trust me..stick with me and you can say at the end...wow! my family is normal!)Let me break it down for ya...
In my immediate family I have my parents, maternal grandma, maternal grandpa, and paternal grandpa. My grandma passed away 5 years ago.
So, this coming up weekend is the Aiken Trials. For all of those who doesn't know, they're horse races here in Aiken, getting the young horses ready for the future Kentucky Derby. (Yep, many many KY Derby winners are from here..Yaayyy us!) I worked for days to get the perfect tickets...had to go over many peoples heads to talk to MORE important people just to get these tickets. But, finally...I have railside tickets and it's gonna rock! Or at least I thought...
Normally every year Mr, my mom and grandma J goes. Well, this year my dad and his dad, my grandpa, decided they wanted to go..which I thought would be wonderful since neither one of them have been to the races...ever. So, plans were made and tickets were bought. Sounds perfect? Right?
Yeah right, nothing can be simple. My grandma and mom came down to visit this weekend so we could get things ready. And I some how VOLUNTEERED my grandma to dress up like a leprechaun for a St. Pats Day party on Friday so we had to go rent the costume. Well, going down the road on Saturday out of nowhere she said, " If (grandpas name) comes down I won't be coming next weekend. My brilliant response to that was, "Huh?" So, she went on to say that since she is married and my grandpa is a widower that it wouldn't look right to be in the same house. Now, let me say this..we have PLENTY of room in this house and they would not be sleeping in the same bed, not even in the same room. So, after laughing, yeah I do that when I'm losing my mind...I ask her if she is serious? And how come she's lost her mind. She said it's just not right with her being married and her husband not down here. It's not like we didn't tell him not to come. We invite him all the time and since his brain surgery he gets real nervous when he leaves the house. So, he just stays at home.
So, my MOM being the peacemaker she is...she said she would handle it. This is after while driving down the road headed towards Augusta I announce..."Then you know what? The hell with it! Nobody will go!" Mr. sitting in the backseat with a bag in his hands to pick of the pieces when my head explodes!
So, we decided to go out to eat Saturday night at my favorite restaurant/bar. Now my grandma is very umm..how can I put this nicely? Hhhmm..Strict Christian with backward views? Alright, we will go with that. So, a friend of mine (a man) bought us some sweetart shots (vodka, sweet and sour, and sprite) and gave us all one. Ok, 2 things happened that she is still fussing about..1-a man buying me a drink and 2- alcohol touched HER table! Hell busted wide open and was trying to pull us in!!! So, after announcing "You ruining my liver, my kidneys are failing and that I am going to hell for hanging around this Honky Tonky (yeah she called it a honky tonky) and drinking..and what about Mr?" I said," yeah he likes them too!" LOL Hell, if I have to spend eternity in hell for sweetart shots..I'm taking someone with me!
By the way, they are VERY good and should have had more than 2! Yep, I took hers!
So, mom decided to tell dad this morning that he is gonna have to tell his dad that he can't go to the races because then my grandma won't come..and dad responds to stuff like this, like I do. He said, " So, she will be staying home, right?" So, mom sits back and doesn't say anything because I really believe she is afraid of telling her mom that the world doesn't revolve around her.
So, at this point, I say nobodys going, Dad says leave grandma at home, Mom just says this all makes her nervous, Grandpa doesn't know whats going on, and Mr....Well, he's plotting a way to get the hell out of this family!
Oh, and all weekend I had to hear from my grandma how she doesn't like..
My hair.
My toenail polish.
My choice in clothing. ( I show too much sometimes) (It was a V-neck shirt)
My shoes.
My weight.
My way of decorating the house.
Sighs. Man she knows how to build ones self-esteem.
link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 6:28 PM
1 Comments:
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had this to say:
amazing.. sounds A LOT like my family!!!!!
- 11:20 AM
