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Wednesday, February 22, 2006
You Know What I Want?

*WARNING* I am a mess tonight...depressed and crying...so you can either skip this and read..your choice!


You know what I want? I want to go back to the first week of our marriage. Why you ask? Because during our first week we were married everything was perfect. No bills, no responsibilities..nothing. I didn't have high blood pressure or diabetes. Mr. didn't have high blood pressure or high cholesterol. We were both 30-50 lbs lighter. We were happy. We didn't want children at that time. I had no idea what PCOS was. I never knew what it felt like to hear the dr. to say you were pregnant. I never knew what it felt like to go through a miscarriage..twice. I didn't know we would ever argue.

Through the 4 years we have been together has been really rough. We have gone through alot of things together and I guess that means alot. No, I KNOW that means alot. Mr. is my best friend...someone I can always count on. Of course, I wonder did he know what he was getting into? Did he know I was going to be sick? Did he know I would never have his children? Did he know we would be having sick parents? Sometimes I feel he should just walk away and never look back at all our troubles. I wish things were different.

I know people tell me that you have to deal with what you care given. But why was I given this? What did I do? As I sit here tonight, I can't hear in one ear, hormones are all over the place, glucose levels are going bonkers and all I can do is cry.

And.

All he can do is rub my back and let me cry and tell me he could have never picked a better friend.


link | posted by Mrs. TSB at 11:21 PM






4 Comments:
Anonymous Tasha had this to say:

I know what you are going through. I say those same things. And i know i may not have the right words, but Im here. as were there for me. It's my turn to help you ((((((HUGS))))))

Tasha
ttc w/PCOS

2:00 AM 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

tash earl`s mum annette, sorry to hear you are having a few problems, think positive and i am fairly sure that you can over come them (it might take a little while), and i`m sure you and your husand can get through anything, GOOD LUCK with everything

2:41 AM 

Blogger ZootsMom had this to say:

Well, Im not an authoritiy on anything but if I was you, I'd keep reading that last sentence over an over again....I'd still be married if I could have said that to myself....Really Hang in there hon,., you've had a rough week+

6:01 AM 

Blogger Laura had this to say:

But.....the fact is you are partners....you both deal with your problems and issues as they come up. Thats what having a partner is about. Taking the good and the bad. And obviously - he loves you!!!! And I know you love him.
Together you will get thru everything......

3:17 PM 

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I'm a SAHM to 3 girls. We became foster parents in May 2006 in hopes of adoption. We love our girls and could never picture ourselves without them. Although life is much busier, we couldn't be any happier. Here's our story...