Confessions Of A Tarnished Southern Belle

We're Baccckkkk...

2007-05-21T14:51:00.000-04:00

Hi! Remember me? Mom of 3 with no free time? Yep! That's me. Glad to be back.

I have received a few IMs and emails asking about me, family, life..wondering if we are surviving. Short answer? Yes. Long answer? Well, sure we are surviving with some difficulties and disappointing news here and there but we are moving right along.

Mr TSB is doing okay. He's a wonderful dad and an awesome husband. He stands by me and our girls on the toughest days and does it with a smile on his face. Except he went to work this morning and left me here with only 3 diapers. But lets not hold that against him, ok?

Big Sis "graduated" from the 3K program and has spent almost every day in the pool since then. She is getting so big and is so smart. She still isn't sure if she likes her sisters but we are working on that. Now since Twin S is mobile all I hear all day long is..STOPPPPPPP THAT'S MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....MAMAAAAAAAAAA GET HER. Yep, she uses caps and all. But we were told we may be losing her to her biological dad. It kills our heart but he's done nothing wrong except not be in her life for 3 years and never paid child support..but he does come to visitation for a hour twice a month and according to DSS that makes him a good dad (catch the sarcasm did ya?) We will know more on July 31st at 9:30am.

Twin S is great. Developmentally she is on target and above on some things. The shunt is still working wonderfully. She is crawling (has been since March) and is now pulling up on furniture and standing there and smiling..she knows she's doing something special. She can say "dadadadadada" "nanananana" and "mamamamama" and has learned to make kissing sounds with her lips. She still isn't intrested in finger foods....she just gags. She will eat Ritz crackers though..that's a start. She now has 4 teeth and 2 more is on their way. Oh, and she has bitten me twice and I have the bruises to prove it! Ha!

Twin E isn't doing as well. We found out today she has West Syndrome (infantile spasms) and she will be going in for another EEG on May 29th and will be starting meds this evening. Bless her heart, she has been through so much and never makes it around the corner. She takes 1 step forward and 15 steps back with her medical issues. We are still dealing with her acid reflux and she is already on multiple meds for that and is already taking seizure medications and her we go adding more. She is in therapy 3 times a week. Speech, Physical and Occupational..its a rough road for her but we are by her side every moment. She has 1 tooth now and another one on it's way. She isn't crawling yet. She babbles very little but when she does we are there to listen to what she has to say :)

Myself? I finally went to the doctor and they prescribed some meds for nerves. I just take as needed. Most days I am fine and happy..but then there are times that it seems the whole world is falling down on us and I'm trying to protect my children...but thankfully those days are few and far between now.

To everyone that has prayed for us, asked about us, thought about us...thank you so much. You will never know how good it feels to have someone IM or email and just ask about us..makes us feel there are people out there thinking about us.

I hope everyones summer is going good. I promise I am going to start posting more frequently. Have a wonderful week!

Protector, Mom, Chearleader and Best Friend...

2007-04-01T23:59:00.000-04:00

Many of you have no idea about my kids, some of you do, but not in detail. I guess I should give some background so you will know where I'm coming from. I received these kids through foster care. They were brought into the system for abuse. Severe abuse. So severe the babies (then 7 weeks old) were on the brink of death. We were told they may not make it out of the hospital. They made it out and have been in our house and our hearts ever since.

Twin S had to have a shunt put in the drains fluid from her brain because of the damage from the blows to the head. She's fine. Developmentally she is a little behind but she is crawling now, sits up on her own and babbles (Dadadadadada and Babababababa)

Twin E, bless her heart, is having problems. She can't sit up, she can't roll over, she can't see very well and she doesn't babble, although she is starting to coo now. She had a seizure before she was admitted into the hospital and she's on 3 different medications. We went last week for a neurology appointment and although we were told semi good news last time we saw the neurosurgeon we didn't get good news this time. They showed me the CT scan and where the strokes were and the good parts of her brain. She is going to have MAJOR problems, and we are willing to deal with that.

So we have gone from a family of two (hubby and me) to a family of 5. As wonderful as that is and as happy as we are....we are a family of 5 with a disabled child. My nephew has Down Syndrome and I have seen how hard its been for my brother and sister in law to deal with it all, but I wasn't here in the beginning. The beginning is hard. HARD. Since E is a twin she is always with her sister. We get looks. I have been asked "what's wrong with THAT one?" and I have always just brushed it off. Today? While standing in line at a store I was asked "What's it like to have a beautiful child and a retarded child that are twins?" My heart stopped. Is this lady saying something is wrong with my child? Is she saying because E is disabled that she is LESS beautiful? I did what I felt was right, I cried. I cried all the way home.

My child has a long road to travel and we are getting as much help as we possible can, but is this what she has to look forward to? I feel so sorry for her. I don't feel sorry for us because we are a family, we respect each other and love each other...but the outside? not so much. People say with time the comments won't bother you as much but when I see a perfect child, although she has challenges, how can I not take hateful comments like a stab to the heart? I am hoping the world will change and she will never been shunned for the way she is but sadly enough it's not going to happen and I will just have to be her protector. Not only will I be her protector, mom and cheerleader...I will be her best friend.

Jesus, Pass The Snacks Please..

2007-03-26T11:25:00.000-04:00

So, Big Sister goes to a 3k program at a local church. Every Wednesday they are read a bible story and colors a picture. Wednesday when she came home I asked her about the pictures, here's how the conversation went...

.....

Me: Oh what a pretty picture, what did Jesus and his friends eat at the special meal?

Her: I don't know. ( a VERY common answer from her)

Me: Well, look at the picture, what are they eating?

(she studies the picture for a few seconds)

Her: Chocolate Chip Cookies, Goldfish crackers and koolaid.

.....

God I love her..and I can TOTALLY see that!

Music To Our Ears...

2007-03-22T07:44:00.000-04:00

We heard the magic 9 words we have been waiting for.
...

We're going with termination of parental rights with adoption.*
...

Squeeeee! We are going to be a FOREVER family. I'm going to be a FOREVER mom. We will never have to fear that we are going to be childless...ever!

...

We couldn't wish for more perfect, beautiful girls.

...

*Although nothing is final until court, it's looking SO positive for us!

What To Say...What To Say...

2007-03-12T14:18:00.000-04:00

first thing, I would like to say thank you for the emails and messages from friends and family asking if I had fallen off the earth or died. Nope, still alive and kicking. Just real busy.

When I dreamed of having a family I thought it was going to be a fairytale. (I'll wait for you to finish laughing and wiping the tears.) It's hard. HARD I say. When the 3 kiddos came into the house I realized it was going to be a little busy..but now? I'm happy to get a chance to get out of my pajamas most days. See how I didn't say everyday? It's stressful, and there are nights when I lose sleep thinking about how I can make it better. I would never admit to this but I think I am way over my head. Is this a normal thing or am I not meant to be a mother? The 3 year old is in a tantrum stage and the twins are in the "food? formula? Ha! I rule this house and I will refuse to eat just to make you lose your shit and cry" mood. They have decided to not eat, at all. Formula? getting MAYBE 21 oz on a good day. This week all 3 have a cold. Snot is pouring out from everywhere!

Last month I put Big Sis in 3K and she loves it. She goes Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. She is learning alot and is SO smart. I couldn't be prouder of her. She has made friends and loves them very much. She is starting to learn to pick up after herself, but has learned to throw herself on the floor when told to do so. Ahhh...it's wonderful.

Twin S is teething. So not only am I wiping snot every .0000002 seconds I carry a drool cup with me. She is close to crawling and babbles..all day long I hear "bababababababababababa" and "dadadadadadadadadada" but do I hear mamamamamama? Nooooooooo. Yes, I am still working on it. We did have her evaluated for physical and occupational therapy and we were told she's fine. Yay!

Twin E on the other hand is a whole other story. We went to see a pedicatric eye doctor and we were told she was blind. My heart broke in two. I cried, I argued and in the end I ran the doctors out of the room. I wasn't finished so I called her neurologist and had a referral to a neurosurgeon the same one that did brain surgery on Twin S. He agreed to do a CT scan for me and find out what was REALLY going on because up to this point I had been told so many things. "She's blind" "She's brain dead" "Her brain isn't going to develop, good luck" I was tired of hearing it all and wanted to know answers. After the CT scan he walked into the room, I was holding Twin E so tight I thought I was going to break her, and the words came out of his mouth..."She is going to be okay, not perfect, but okay. " Yayy! After my heart started pumping again we made plans. During the abuse that the family caused it made Twin E have multiple strokes. One stroke was on the vision part of the brain, but with rehab it can possibly get better. She has been in rehab for awhile now and I can see so much progress. I am so proud of her. She is starting to hold her head up better now and can hold toys in her hand if we put it there. Developmentally she is at 1 month old level but getting better every day. Please continue your prayers for her.

We received a phone call today from the adoption department of Social Services and we will be having another homestudy on the 30th of March. That gives me 3 weeks to make my house look perfect. We are hoping we can adopt these girls and we are waiting for a court date...although it's in the judges hands on if we can keep them or not, I don't see how he could go any other way.

This weekend it the Aiken Triple Crown kickoff and we are going to the Aiken Trials. Living in Aiken you HAVE to love horses that's what this whole city is about. Luckily, the 3 year old loves horses and I hope she enjoys the races.

Well, there's a Readers Digest version of my life...I promise pictures and more post are coming soon. Hope everyone is doing well :)

Wheee!

2007-02-04T13:39:00.000-05:00

We've had a wonderful weekend! We spent most of our times indoors since it's so cool, but it was sick free. Really. Seems someone is always sick,upset stomach, sinus problems or just feeling blah and irritable. So? Wheeee! Although we do believe the twins are plotting against us and we are running for cover. Evidence photo...

Dear Internet Moms....HELP!

2007-02-01T10:57:00.000-05:00

Hi internet moms! Yeah, even you over there in the corner. I, the all knowing, needs help. Major help. As you know I have 6 month old twin girls and a 3 year old girl. I'm having some problems and I need advice. Here goes...

Twin S is teething (we think) and she drools ALOT. Her little chin stays red and chapped. She wears a bib and I wipe as much as I can but it doesn't seem to help. Any suggestions on what I can do to prevent it?

Big girl (our 3 year old) REFUSES to take a nap. I lay her down everyday at 1, everyone takes a nap then. She will not go to sleep which would be fine but by 5pm she is a devil. Oh the whining, and moaning and arguing...by 5:15 my head wants to explode. Any suggestions? We have tried letting her watch a Dora the Explorer (gag) movie if she takes a nap...she could care less.

We're Back...

2007-01-29T17:20:00.000-05:00

We made it back from the funeral in North Carolina. Very Sad but good to be back home. I am going to try and update this blog more often but for now I need to unpack. Here's some pictures to keep you busy until my next update...

Our December

She Will Be Missed...

2007-01-22T09:06:00.000-05:00

As of 7:34 this morning my Nanny took her last breath.

I don't think I will ever stop crying. God I miss her already.

Quietness Usually Means Sadness..(At Least With Me)

2007-01-19T23:44:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't posted in over a month and a half. I have really been speechless. There are things going on in my life that makes me wonder how I am going to keep what sanity I have left. Christmas was wonderful, the girls had fun and received alot of stuff from family, friends and Santa. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

So far our New Year isn't going so well. It's rather sad really.

Remember me telling you about my grandma? I call her Nanny and she rocks! She has been the coolest Nanny and I would consider her my best friend. Well, the first of December she had a mild stroke and was put into a rehab facility, she was release this past Tuesday after being told they had done everything they could. Well, Wednesday morning I received a phone call from my grandpa saying he couldn't wake her up and she was on her way back to the hospital. And then the call came in...she had another stroke. This stroke was considered massive and she in in a coma. They did another CT scan today and her brain is swelling and we are being told she will pass away within hours or days...usually never holds on over a week or so. My heart is hurting. My mom is devastated. My grandpa? He won't survive without her. They have been married for 55 years and have been best friends through good times and bad. Fifteen years ago my grandpa had to have a tumor removed from his brain, we were told it was the size of a grapefruit, and my Nanny helped him recover from that and he says it's his time to help her. The sad part is...it's too late.

My daughter (Twin E) went to the doctor in December and we were told something was wrong with her skull or brain that we needed to see a neurosurgeon. We knew she was delayed from the abuse but figured that's all it was. We went this past Tuesday and we were told most likely her brain has stopped growing. S.T.O.P.P.E.D. For a moment my heart stopped. After the inital shock we asked what was the next step, we were told IF that is the case there isn't much they can do. So, she has a CT scan scheduled for Tuesday at 10am and we will see her doctor at 10:30.

I really don't know how much more I can take. My heart is aching and I feel so sad all the time. I always dreamed of having a fairytale life...this is far from it. Although I have a wonderful family, husband and love my girls...it seems I am always taking one step forward, thirteen steps back.

I just ask for you to pray for us during this time. Prayer isn't something I normally depend on but I have tried everything else.

Sorry for such a depressing post...it will get better after I am over this little hurdle. Hopefully.

Here Comes Santa.....Hopefully!

2006-12-07T09:44:00.000-05:00

Well, we finally have the inside and outside of the house decorated for Christmas. We have only lost 4 Christmas ornaments by them breaking in the hands of a 3 year old. Oh by the way...LittleOne turned 3 this past Monday. We had a Cinderella (gag) party and she had a blast! Yes, she did have a tiara and a magic wand!

We had our pictures made with Santa and hopefully will have them back tomorrow so I can get them in the Christmas cards and get them mailed off.

Christmas shopping? Nah, not yet. I'm hoping I get it done or Christmas morning LittleOne and BabyS and BabyE doesn't get an I.O.U. from Santa explaining that HE doesn't like the Christmas crowds and it's too hard to find someone to watch ALL THREE kids so HE can go shopping. That would be sad wouldn't it? Ha!

We have been to a few Christmas parties so far and it amazes me that LittleOne doesn't realize it's a different Santa every single time. She told Santa the other night that he's cute. I think Mrs. Santa got a little jealous. Ha!

For those of you that has emailed to ask about my grandma...she isn't doing great. They moved her from the hospital to a nursing home on Monday. She is very confused and the vision in her left eye still come back and she is unable to walk. She can shuffle around but very unstable. Please continue to keep her in your prayers.

We have another Christmas party tonight and I plan on baking this weekend. Wish us luck! What are ya'll doing this weekend?

Decking The Halls...

2006-11-30T09:20:00.000-05:00

Posting 2 days in a row? Did hell freeze over? Shocking I know...I'll wait a second while you catch your breath from excitement. Better? Wonderful!

I did some thinking last night and even though it feels like everything is falling apart around me...I can't fix everything, not now anyway. Sooo with that being said, we are going to enjoy Christmas if it kills us all.

I am going to venture out with the 3 kids today to the Hallmark store. I AM going to buy cards and I AM going to buy some Keepsake Ornaments. I WILL come home and hang the ornaments and get my card list ready. (If you want to receive a card from us, email me your name and address, I would LOVE to send a card! ( JohnAndJennOfAikenSC@yahoo.com )

In the morning, Mr. and I will go outside and decorate the yard. Then we will come inside and finish decorating. Then I am going to go to the bank and ring a bell for a few hours for the Empty Stocking Fund for the kids in our area.

THEN we will go to our town tree lighting so the kids can see Santa and we can all stand out in the cold holding candles and singing Christmas Carols out of tune and mumble through the parts we don't know.

I will start buying Christmas presents and start shipping to family and friends out of town.

I will do all this with a smile on my face and bells on my toes. I feel like I am having to force myself to get happy...but we WILL have fun damnit.

So, what's ya'lls plan for the weekend?

What Happened To November??

2006-11-29T20:43:00.000-05:00

Hi! Seems the last time I posted was back in October. Alot has happened since then..some good...some just sucked. I've received a few emails wondering if I am okay..I'm okay.

What has happened since last post..

I turned 30. Bleh, nothing special happened.
Our 5 year old was removed from our house, after throwing a chair at me.
I have had strep throat, an ear infection and now dealing with an upper respiratory infection...fun times. (babies go tomorrow to the doctor, they're sick too)
We survived Halloween and are still enjoying the candy!
We survived Thanksgiving, but was sick the whole time..again..fun times.
We are getting ready for Christmas, I am getting our Christmas card list ready...theyre are a few people I want to send cards to on here..but don't want to seem stalkish by asking for addresses. *sighs*
I finally have children and we saw Santa for the first time, she screamed with excitement, I cried. It was what I have always wanted, it was magical.
My grandma had a stroke on Monday. She isn't doing too well.

So, what have ya'll been up to? Anything I should know about? Man, I have missed ya'll!

Lions And Tigers And Carnies...Oh My!

2006-10-22T23:22:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was very busy! Since it has gotten cooler here, we decided to go to the zoo and the fair! It was a little rough with the babies, but we all survived!

My birthday is coming up (28th) and I am dreading hitting the big 3-0. I haven't been looking forward to it at all! I'm not sure what we will be doing for my birthday..I'm hoping it will be short and simple.

Halloween is coming. I hate Halloween, never liked it as a child either. I love the fall and winter but dressing up and begging for candy isn't my thing. I always said "when I have children we won't be celebrating Halloween", with that being said, the costumes have been picked out and I am still looking for the twins costumes. We are going to go trick-or-treating and I am going to enjoy myself.

Around here as soon as Halloween is over we normally decorate for Christmas. I L.O.V.E. Christmas! I love the cooler weather and the spirit of Christmas. I am debating on if I should decorate so soon with the little ones...will they get bored with it before Christmas actually gets here? How many of my collectible ornaments will get broken? or should I just go out and buy new decorations? I guess we have some decisions to make.

Here are my girls...I never thought I could love another human being as much as I love these girls...

I will leave you with one final question...Why are the keys on my keyboard so STICKY?!?!?! I guess sometimes it's best not knowing....

The Unthinkable Has Happened...

2006-10-15T14:56:00.000-04:00

Wanna know what we have been up to? I traded in my SUV for a mini van. MINI VAN PEOPLE! In the last 4 years I have gone from a mustang GT...to a SUV..and now a minivan. Nobody thought I would do it, even as I was walking out the door to go pick it up they just chuckled and said "there's no way she would drive a minivan, she'll be back" Well, I came back.. with a minivan. I guess it's official now, I'm a mom. Now, if I could just find one of those soccer ball magnets that's standard on the back of ALL minivans, I will be set!

All the girls are doing wonderful. The twins came home last week from the hospital. They are improving more and more every day. Most of you don't know, but they were severely abused by their family and we wasn't sure if they were going to survive. They did! They said the multiple skull fractures, rib fractures and the broken leg bones will heal...it's the brain damage we are worried about. The smallest twin had 2 brain surgeries in less that 21 days, but with the VP shunt, she is doing wonderful!

We have been extra busy with the family, and my dad will be coming down next weekend to meet all the girls, mom has been staying here with us helping getting us settled in. I can't tell you how many times I have woken my mom from a deep sleep to tell her the baby is crying and she hates me. Can a woman go through postpartum depression without actually HAVING the baby? Ha! I'm sure it's just pure exhaustion. I'll catch up on my sleep when they turn 18.

I have pictures that I can post, just can't right now, don't have time. Talk to ya soon!

Back To Our Program..

2006-09-21T10:43:00.000-04:00

Hi! Remember me? How have ya been? Great!

So after LittleBit passed strep throat to everyone in the house we are back up and running again.

We did lose our little boy and I hope he is okay. Please continue praying for him.

Guess what we have now..

A 2.5 year old girl and a set of 7 week old twin girls! We are on estrogen overload in this house now. Poor Mr. TSB. Keep him in your prayers too! Ha!

As for me? You can find me in Room 207 (the padded room) and I'll be the one in the corner with a straight jacket on mumbling something about barbies, tea sets, dolls, crayons...or something of that sort.

A Busy Weekend Coming Up...

2006-09-07T10:20:00.000-04:00

This weekend is going to be busy for us. Saturday morning we are going to Aiken Makin, it will be LittleBits first time going. Im sure she will have a blast!

Saturday evening Mr.TSBs aunt is flying in from Santa Ana, Ca. We havent seen her in almost 2 years..I dont think we could be much more excited!

Sunday, after church, we will be taking LittleBit on her first horse ride..ever! Since we are in Thoroughbred Country it only seems appropriate! Ha! Pictures will be taken and shared, watch for them.

Snugglebug will be going back to his mom today, unless something falls through, and I only pray for his safety. Please keep the little guy in your prayers, he will need it.

It's Official..

2006-09-01T16:43:00.000-04:00

we will be losing our baby boy on Thursday. We had a meeting today and the mom and dad will be getting him back, although the mom isn't even fit to take care of a dog. I am very angry and heartbroken right now. I've been trying to fight back tears because LittleBit is very emotional and I don't want her to have to deal with this right now. She is going to be devestated when she finds out her "little brother" won't be living with us anymore...but not nearly as heartbroken as I am right now. Thank you for your support, emails and prayers...you know I truly appreciate it.

My Sad Reality...

2006-08-29T11:25:00.000-04:00

I found out that My Snugglebug's mom may get him back. We are going to court on Sept.7th and going to fight hard to keep him but it's looking VERY positive for his mom. I am trying my best to make time stop so I have more time with him, my GOD I'm so in love. Please keep us in your prayers...

My Biggest Pet Peeve Is...

2006-08-26T17:49:00.000-04:00

Since getting our children I don't like leaving them at home. I rather pack up the diaper bag, kids, purse and head off to Target. There are times that I do leave them at home with Mr. and trust me the whole time I miss them. They are supposed to be with me. I NEED them.

Ahem. Excuse me. Back to my point...

The last few times I have been out I get asked "Where's the babies?" (mostly because they are used to me showing them off) I tell them that they are home with their daddy.

Then I am asked THE question. THE question that makes my skin crawl. THE question that makes me roll my eyes so much I hope nobody hits my back so they won't stay that way (remember when parents told ya that? Ha!) THE question is..."So how did you get him to babysit?"

Babysit? BABYSIT? Hell, they're his kids too. A father doesn't babysit. A teenager next door is a babysitter. I don't know why that bothers me so much but it does. I tried to ignore it in the beginning but it's being asked more and more. Next time I'm asked that? I'm throwing a poopy diaper at them!

Math Class

2006-08-24T14:26:00.000-04:00

1 mom with sinus and ear infection
+
1 daughter with ANOTHER kidney infection
+
1 son with a "slight stomach bug"
+
1 husband with a slight case of the "Im gonna be an asshole" disease
=
I am moving out and not leaving a forwarding address

Class is dismissed.

My Little Snugglebug!

2006-08-23T13:10:00.000-04:00

Tag, I'm It!

2006-08-23T13:07:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Moon, here's a new meme!

I am thinking about...... how lucky I am.

I said...... "because I said so" I promised myself at an early age I would never say that.

I want to...... go on vacation Labor Day.

I wish...... I knew what my future was going to be.

I hear...... the baby sucking on his pacifier

I wonder...... if I will get another child (Yes I am crazy enough to want ONE more)

I regret...... alot of things.

I am...... a mom. I have wanted this more than anything in my life.

I dance...... when I hear the song "Rocky Top" Yes, I was once a clogger. Ha!

I sing...... the Barney song, "The Ants Go Marching" every morning on the way to drop off LittleBit at school. If you haven't heard this song, you are TOTALLY missing out.

I cry...... when I get angry.

I am not always...... the best wife.

I make with my hands...... I'll skip this one.

I write...... as much as I can.

I confuse...... everyone around me.

I need...... feed the baby again.

Whew..What A Week!

2006-08-22T16:04:00.000-04:00

Last week was LittleBits first week of school. Everyday I was told she was in time-out but on Friday wanna guess what happened? The TEACHER walked her to the CAR! I was told she won't sit down, she talks out of turn, she has tantrums when put in time-out and refuses to do work.

So all weekend we practiced being good. So basically the weekend sucked ass.

In fact right this moment she is in her room. Her plane was moved today (its a discipline thing in her class) and she can't tell me why. Well, we can't talk about what she did wrong until we know what it was. So, another sucky ass day sitting inside. Bleh!

Tonight we have open house at school and then having someone coming over to talk to me and see the baby at 8. We stay busy around here. All. The. Time.

Between all the kid stuff and chaos I am still keeping up with Big Brother. God I love that show.

Right now if none of this makes sense just know I have a 5 year old screaming like a banshee and a baby crying and Im rocking his seat with my foot..and praying for Mr. to come home soon.

On a funny note. Ya know when you change a baby boys diaper you should guard yourself? Well, I knew about it and being the mean wife I am I never told Mr. Well over the weekend he finally learned, it went all over his shirt and over his shoulder. Yep, Im still laughing about it.

And Moon? I received the tag..will post the meme tonight...Promise!

He's Free!

2006-08-17T00:12:00.000-04:00

Today SnuggleBug went for a follow-up appointment about his oxygen and monitor. The Dr. said that the only time he needs to wear the oxygen is at night! Yayy!! So now he doesnt have to have the cords and tape all over his face....I swear I heard him say...hot damn. Since he was born on March 7th (25 weeks) and wasnt due until late June they count him as a 2 month old. The Dr. today said he is doing awesome! See? I knew my children would be brilliant. We go again in 2 weeks and hopefully he will be off the oxygen forever. The apnea monitor he will be on it for awhile..but thats okay...rather be safe than sorry.

LittleBit enjoyed the first day of school. She gets so excited when we pull into the parking lot. I am so proud of her..although on the first day of school she was put in time out for pushing a boy off of a playground toy. In her defense she said "Well you said I shouldn't hit people" See? Another brilliant child! Ha!

Mr. is adjusting to all this. It's rather funny to see him come home from working and it's total chaos. Back in the day he would come home, we would sit down and talk, eat a nice dinner and watch tv. Now? he comes in to a 5 year old screaming "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" to the top of her lungs which scares the holy sugar out of the baby and then he starts crying, then the dogs start barking...aahhhh chaos is a beautiful thing.

I have been asked alot recently how I love parenthood. I am asked with a smirk on their face as if I am going to break down in tears and tell them how challenging and how tired I am. Well, I love it! LOVE. IT. It can be challenging at times, but who doesn't love a challenge? And most of the time I am exhausted, especially now since I have two. But for all of the late nights I am up, early mornings I am awake, through all the tantrums, bottle feeding, cleaning, laundry, etc...my heart still overflows with the love I have for these two kids..and how appreciated I am from getting emails from some of the readers (you know who you are) just asking me how I'm doing, it's like you know when I need a pick-me-up. Thanks for everything.

Have ya noticed now since Im a mom..Im not so bitchy? Ha!

My Little Snugglebug!

2006-08-11T08:56:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we took our boy to the doctors for a check-up. He weighs 10.7 lbs! When he was born he weighed a little more than a pound....so hes a little butter ball now. We were told that his oxygen should be removed next month (he will be six months old) We are so excited!

For all you mothers out there..I don't know how you do it. We went from no kids at all to a house full. There's toys, diapers, clothes, toys, cups, bottles, toys, shoes, toys...did I say toys? The house is a disaster and stays that way...we pick up the big pieces and keep going. LOL

It's A Boy!

2006-08-10T07:33:00.000-04:00

Wow time flies when you are just too damn tired to blog, huh? Well, we have a new addition to our family! It's a boy! He was born March 7th premature. He wasn't due until July 1st but he was ready to enter the world much quicker! We brought him home yesterday and it's starting to sink in that we went from just the two of us (Mr. and me) to a full house!

LittleBit went to the 50s theme party this past Saturday and had a blast! Although lets not talk about her hula-hoopin and her skirt falling off and her just stepping over the skirt and kept on going.

LittleBit starts school on Monday. We went to a meet and greet this past Tuesday..her teacher is wonderful! I'm hoping she really likes school and does an awesome job.

My neice has also been down from Ohio and she's been spending time with us.

Man I'm tired.

Posting Two Days In A Row...

2006-08-04T21:16:00.000-04:00

...things must be looking up around here! Well, as usual, it's 9:12 and I am exhausted! Usually I am in bed by now, but we are leaving for North Carolina in the morning...at 5am. LittleBit has been asleep since 8 and usually I follow right behind, usually asleep by 8:30 unless Big Brother is on.

You know my best friend TiVo? Well, we have it through our satellite service, it stopped working last week and we called and do you want to know what they told us? That it's a technical problem and they are working on it and to basically deal with it. Deal with it not recording anything? or deal with every time we want to change channels we have to reset the machine? I'm not finished with them yet, but it's hard being a bitch with a 5 year old beside me that repeats EVERYTHING I say.

Last month we switched cellphone companies. They sent us two new phones. Last week I had my cellphone down the front of my bathing suit (don't ask) and accidently got in the pool and remembered 10 minutes later it was there. So? Broke. I decided to take Mr's because I NEED a phone and he rarely used his. Today? LittleBit dropped it in the toilet (again, don't ask LOL) so now we have 2 broke cellphones and the damn company won't even give us a discount on new phones. Again, I am not finished with them, but like I said...it's hard being a bitch with a 5 year old.

I would also like to point out that my husband said he would NEVER play with barbies had a tea party with his daughter and all of her barbie friends and even wore a tiara. Did I get a picture? You bet I did!

One final thought. Chucky E. Cheese? Spawn of Satan. The End.

A Simple Hello..

2006-08-03T00:18:00.000-04:00

Hi guys! Yeah Im still around. I've been really busy considering school starts in 12 days. We are going tomorrow to register LittleBit in school and at the dance studio (she wants to be a ballerina) The other day she received 3 shots for school..she was NOT happy! Ha! She has been feeling kinda crappy for the last 2 days and then today? she had a seizure...so she's been resting all day.

I hate that I'm not blogging more, but it seems our whole life revolves around LittleBit that I really don't have much to say. Tonight was the first night in 2 weeks that we dropped her off at grandma's and Mr. and I went out to eat. God I missed her while she was away!

So, how are ya'll doing? Anything exciting you want to tell me? Anything you want to ask? I'm up for talking about anything....give me some suggestions!

Same Old Thing..

2006-08-01T05:39:00.000-04:00

More blood work was done for the pregnancy..and AGAIN I was told its not viable...so I will be losing the baby...but in the end I still have a beautiful girl that loves me.

Three Things I've Learned...

2006-07-31T08:25:00.000-04:00

LittleBit learns quickly...and everything is much better! She can follow rules and knows the consequences if she doesn't.
Even with it raining, when LittleBit is loud and wild..pool time rocks!
Oh, and I found out I'm pregnant.

Holy Hell Batgirl...

2006-07-27T08:32:00.000-04:00

I want it to be known that Littlebit went to bed last night at 8:30 without screaming, crying and kicking.

Did you hear me? She went to bed quietly. Like a big girl.

I'm so damn happy....Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!

From Bad To...

2006-07-26T10:46:00.000-04:00

Oh My God Are You Kidding Me?

Yeah, that's how I feel lately. Things at the house are going CRAZY. LittleBit has gone from bad to worse. I would say it could get worse, but I don't think so...so it's gotta go up from here, right? Please tell me I'm right. Please.

School starts in about 2 weeks. She is going into kindergarten and my mom (the teacher) said that by the time she starts she should know the alphabet, count to 50, colors and basic shapes. Here is where it goes ALL wrong. She can count to 9. She doesn't know the alphabet..not the letters, not writing them, she cant even sing the song. Colors? Forget about it. I haven't even tested the shape thing.

The way her mom has raised her is pathetic. My daughter knows how to make scrambled eggs but doesn't know what color the egg is. I feel so sorry for her because school is going to be tough in the beginning. Tougher than I wanted it to be for her.

We bought some flash cards, books, and stuff to help...but she hates trying to do it. We bought a writing pad for her to pratice her name (BTW, what was the mom thinking when she gave her this name?!?!) she refuses to try.

So far today:
she broke 2 blinds in her bedroom
she threw the CD player in the floor
she kicked me
she kicked the dog
screamed
slammed the door

And she's only been up for 2 hours.

Wow! Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

2006-07-23T10:47:00.000-04:00

Hi! Remember me? How have ya been? Oh, we've been fine. Just trying to adjust. Who knew that adding one more person to the family the laundry would be 3x more? I don't understand..but then again, I've never been a math wiz!

My mom came down for the weekend and she went back home totally in love. But who can blame her? Right?

Ask me what we did last night? Well, I'm glad you asked! We spent HOURS in the emergency room. Yep, you heard me right. THE. E.R. LittleBit (that's her new name) seems to have a bladder infection. Between going to the bathroom every .000345 seconds and screaming because it "burns" I had to take her and not wait for the dr. on Monday. Fun times. Oh, by the way, she weighs 40.5 lbs.

We are going to go to Walmart today, since my mother-in-law is the pharmacist there, we do have to go every once in awhile.....although I TOTALLY prefer Target.

Some people have asked about LittleBit's name, right now we don't feel comfortable enough giving it out. Just know it's not a name I had picked out for my future girls, but it's a pretty name. But for now her names seem to be..."Dont push buttons" "Dont use the phone, you may dial Hawaii" "Step away from the stove" "Pick up your toys when youre finished" "No we only wear one outfit a day" and the best name of all "Mommy loves you too"

If you need us, we will be doing this...

I'm Still Alive...

2006-07-19T22:34:00.000-04:00

Today has been kinda rough. She is testing us now. Tonight after dinner we went to Sonics to get a drink and she SCREAMED for the whole parking lot to hear that she wanted fries. SCREAMED. FOR. TEN. MINUTES. Its embarassing and I really didn't know what to do, except once we got home she had to go straight to bed and was told no McDonalds tomorrow. We haven't really taken her out shopping, just a quick stop at Target for a bathing suit and it ended with her screaming. I became one of those parents that I hated. I just kept walking, letting her scream and got what I needed and left. Totally ignoring her. Am I right?

For the last 2 nights I have gone to bed crying, I don't know if it's from pure exhaustion or if I really am failing as a mother. I know she has been here only 4 days, but it's still total chaos around here. And when she gets upset..wanna know what she says? I want to go back to my real mommy. (my heart breaks every time)

But, I still stand firm by what I say, I refuse to have a child that eats anything, anytime she wants. (which is french fries. period.) I have told her she has to eat something green every night with her meal and she is doing okay with that rule. She is testing us to see what she can get away with, and we're not letting her.

It's time for me to go to bed, wish me luck tomorrow.

My Heart Melted...

2006-07-17T22:15:00.000-04:00

Today, this little girl called me "Mommy" and my heart just melted. She's just awesome!

Things I've Learned About Being A Mom In The Last 24 Hours...

2006-07-17T16:45:00.000-04:00

Naps? What nap? Enough said.
Getting only 30 minutes of sleep, makes a mom giggly the next day.
Boy, 5 year olds can throw some tantrums. Whew!
When a rubber ball is thrown straight up and hits the fan, it will sling it into the next room.
Yes, they do sleep like angels.
TV? Wasnt that something I liked watching at one time?
You remember the old songs you sung when you were younger? You never forget them.

I am so tired, but so in love. Thanks for all of the congrats and I promise I will have a picture up soon.

I'm A Mom!

2006-07-17T00:42:00.000-04:00

Today we were placed with a daughter. She's 5 and she's beautiful. She's here, She's safe...

and I'm in love.

Problems..Problems..Everywhere..Do Da..Do Da

2006-07-15T01:04:00.000-04:00

Big problems with life.

Bigger problems at home.

Even bigger problems with family.

I'll be back....maybe.

2006-07-13T10:31:00.000-04:00

First "13" items on my grocery list

1. skim milk

2. jalapenos

3. dog treats

4. grapes

5. chex cereal

6. grapenut cereal

7. strawberries

8. pickles (sweet and sour)

9. People magazine

10. chicken or turkey

11. ketchup

12. melba toast

13. stamps

Yeah folks, we are THAT boring around here.

You Want Romance? I'll Give You Romance!

2006-07-13T00:30:00.000-04:00

Normally for supper (yes, down south it's supper) we eat at the table with candles lit. Tonight's menu?

Hamburger Helper, bell pepper slices, cherry kool-aid. Oh, and candles lit!

Can't get much more romantic than that, right? I need help with new recipes. Have one you want to share? I'll try it.

To Pull Or Not To Pull...updated

2006-07-12T15:54:00.000-04:00

...That is the question. See the picture? It's a weed. Mr. REFUSES to pull it because he believes its not a weed... it's a daily discussion around here. Please someone tell him it's a WEED and get it out of my yard!

Edit Added: So two people have said corn. But, don't you need to plant seeds to make it grow? I've never been able to grow anything, so this is surprising to me. Mr. said he agrees and thinks the "seed" came from the wildbird feeder we have about 2 feet away. So now the dilemma is...it's in my front flowerbed...it still must go.

I Love Him..

2006-07-12T13:12:00.000-04:00

Okay, I could break out the mushy, mushy, kissy, kissy crap..but point is...I love my husband and we have a good marriage. He's my best friend. Now, with that being said, I love this website...

True Wife Confessions

Knowing I don't have a marriage like most of them makes me even happier, but boy am I addicted to it!

Blogging Questions....

2006-07-12T12:25:00.000-04:00

As I stroll through the blogging world I have noticed some things..help me if you can...

1- See the blogroll over there on the left? Well, I have a much larger roll (and not just around my waist) that I stroll through. But, it's hard to keep up with them. I've noticed on other blogs that it puts a * or the word "new" when a page has been updated. Mine doesn't. And how do ya'll check your rolls? By visiting your on blog?

2-When someone leaves a comment, it is directly mailed to me. Alot of times I want to email a comment back or at least thank someone for visiting (its the southern in me) but alot of times there's no email address. Do I have it set to where the email isn't sent to me? Or does people not fill it out? How can I make it mandatory they fill it out so they can get a message from me? I feel so bad when I can't email someone back. Wait! Maybe they don't want an email from me...never thought of that! Boy, they don't know what they're missing out on!

BTW, we have our first meeting with the adoption association on Thursday..Yayy! We are part of the group now!

2006-07-11T00:44:00.000-04:00

GRUB-OLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Wendys
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? The Bowery in Aiken, SC
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 20%.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Mac N Cheese
Name three foods you detest above all others. Liver, Brussels Sprouts, Mushrooms
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Chicken and Brocolli
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Pepperoni
What do you like to put on your toast? butter and apple jelly
What is your favorite type of gum? Altoids, much better than the mints

TECH-OLOGY
Number of contacts in your cell phone? 43
Number of contacts in your email address book? Have no idea
What is your wallpaper on your computer? roses
What is your screensaver on your computer? picture of hubby
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? nope
How many land line phones do you have in your house? 1
How many televisions are in your house? 5
What kitchen appliance do you use the least? crockpot
What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? Country

BI-OLOGY
What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My eyes
Are you right handed or left handed? Right handed.
Do you like your smile? yes.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom teeth and 3 tumors
Would you like to? yes.
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? Yes
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? smell
When was the last time you had a cavity? think I have one now, will find out next week
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? my purse
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yes..thanks to my exhusband

MISC-OLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes, Im a planner
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? Madison
How do you express your artistic side? Not very artistic
What color do you think you look best in? Blue
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? Not long
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Yes
If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? No.
How often do you go to church? Not often enough, having issues right now
Have you ever saved someone’s life? Not really
Has someone ever saved yours? Yes

DARE-OLOGY
For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Nope
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Sure.
Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? Sure
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Sure
Would you never blog again for $50,000? Yep..see ya!
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Nope.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? Sure
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? Without fear of punishment, Id kill my ex for a happy meal.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? Sure
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Hell No.

Rest In Peace, My Dear Friend

2006-07-09T22:06:00.000-04:00

Five years ago I met a friend at Target. He was wonderful, always there when I needed him. He made me happy when I was sad or angry, and made me happier on my best days. He never had anything to say, he was happy just being there for me. A few weeks ago he started having problems. I believed he would get better, that maybe things would turn around...but, I was naive and he didn't get better.

Today my dear friend that I met at Target passed away. We were there when it happened, and were there when the plug was pulled. I cried.

I never talked about my friend, but in my heart I loved him so much.

My dearest friends name was...Mr. Coffee iced tea maker. I loved him. He will be truly missed.

*After a proper burial in a classy white Hefty garbage bag, he was laid to rest in our trash can. Then we hauled ass to Target and I met a new friend...once again..life can go on.

My First 13 Thursday!

2006-07-06T17:14:00.000-04:00

13 things you may or may not know about me

1. I am afraid of heights.

2. I am afraid of toads and frogs.

3. I wear a size 9.5 shoe, I have since middle school.

4. I wore braces for a year and a half, and loved them.

5. My parents put me in etiquette school when I was younger.

6. I had my first date at 14.

7. I still think about my first love.

8. I love the movie Annie.

9. and Grease, and listen to both soundtracks daily.

10. I love showtunes.

11. I want to go to Ireland, but won't go because I won't fly (see #1)

12. I love my husbands voice.

13. My husband and I met online and only dated 3 months before we married.

Big Brother....Big Lover!

2006-07-06T11:26:00.000-04:00

I LOVE Big Brother! Ive waited all winter for this! Does anyone else watch this show? Do they love it as much as me? I think not.

I am so excited..yet, I feel like crap today. My back and abdomen is killing me! And Im trying to drink as much as I can of cranberry juice and water..but blech!

Make me feel better, promise me you will watch Big Brother on CBS tonight...then we can have something to talk about tomorrow :)

Update..

2006-07-05T14:55:00.000-04:00

After driving 5 minutes to an emergency care doctor and waiting 2 hours, the doctor (which by the way, looked like she was 15, I hope she was the dr. and not the receptionist Ha!) said I have an UTI and the pain in the abdomen she doesn't know where its coming from. She said theres nothing in that area, except instestines and colon. So, its not my gallbladder or appendix..and all will be right with the world in a few days. For now..

Cranberry Juice, Water, Meds, Cranberry Juice, Water, Meds, Cranberry Juice, Water, Well..you get the point :)

Doctor In The House? Warning: TMI

2006-07-05T11:23:00.000-04:00

Well, I have a problem, two actually.

First problem? My dr. is on vacation this week. Of course! I never need a doctor until she's on vacation.

Second problem? Something is wrong with me. My lower abdomen hurts (like a dull constant pain), I am able to pee but at the end, its VERY painful. And the pee itself? very cloudy.

My guess is, kidney or bladder infection, but is it worth going to the ER? Will it get worse before Monday? What do I do?

What Are You Doing?

2006-07-04T11:35:00.000-04:00

Well, for the holiday, we will be spending it with my in-laws. Staying inside eating hamburgers and watching Firewall (not my choice). Oh, and listening to her whine about her youngest son (which in my opinion needs to fall off the face of the earth and take his bitchy wife with him) Story may come later as to why I HATE him and he HATES me equally.

Yep, fun times going on here.

He Noticed..

2006-07-03T14:47:00.000-04:00

Mr. isn't too observant, he never has been...with that being said, here's what happened Saturday night.

We decided to go out with some friends Saturday night for dinner. As we are sitting there, Mr. kept looking at my shirt. Well, I have a habit of spilling stuff when I eat or drink (thank God for Tide-to-go) Everytime he would look at it, I would look down. Finally, after a short period of that I finally asked what he was looking at.

And here's what he came out with.."Are you wearing a new bra?" I said, "Yeah, its one of those minimizer bras, you know, it helps, minimize." "Hmm, how's it working for ya?" He said with a confused look on his face. "Well, I guess okay, you noticed a difference." He said, " No, I just think they look sexy in that shirt and that was the only pick-up line I could think of."

Yeah, he's ALL mine. Ha!

Okay, So I Fine Now..

2006-06-30T16:37:00.000-04:00

2 good things happening + 1 bad thing = Still a pretty good weekend.

Today, we received our acceptance letter that we have been waiting for. I knew we were already accepted, but having it in my hand, makes me feel more secure!

Also today is Mr.'s 37th birthday. It started off kinda rocky, but I am staying home tonight instead of going out with some friends, and I am going to the store to buy a cake, pick up pizza and coming home to watch a movie. Usually, I have a birthday party for him, but as ya'll know we had other things going on. He's okay with it all, of course, he may just be too OLD to care! ha!

Oh, and sugarpuss*, I know when Im not on the computer and not looking, you get on here to see what I have to say....Happy Birthday and I love you!

*Sugarpuss is Mr.

All Hope Is Now Gone..

2006-06-30T09:24:00.000-04:00

The call came in early this morning. It's official, we won't be receiving the girl and boy. My heart breaks, again.

Nothing..

2006-06-29T19:34:00.000-04:00

No call, no children, not happy. Bastards didn't call. I hate being disrespected.

Tick..Tock..Tick...Tock..

2006-06-29T16:04:00.000-04:00

It is now 4:00pm, we should be hearing something by 5:00 on if we are getting the babies. I am sitting here by the phone waiting...I would say patiently, but I would be lying.

I am so nervous I don't know if I want to cry or vomit.

The end.

Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!

2006-06-28T11:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, I am going to see if I can be calm enough to make sense..If I don't..sorry.

So, after my pity party last night I decided to call someone else in the office. When I did, she told me that the guy I have been working with, his son passed away on the 22nd. (NOW i feel guilty for the bad bad bad thought I had about him)

So, anyway, she told me "Of course you were approved" and that she is just now getting to all of his paperwork and that she would mail the "official letter" today.

And then...it happened...

She said, " I think I have a family for you."

As of tomorrow I may be the mommy to a 2.5 year old girl and a 4 month old baby boy.

We will know for definate tomorrow around 4pm or so. I will keep ya'll updated!

I'm Tired.

2006-06-27T22:24:00.000-04:00

As you all know, we are in the process of adoption. We started this process knowing it was going to be a long roller coaster ride. (We're not THAT naive) When we had our first meeting it was on April 7, 2006. We were told within 120 days we would be finished with the application process and then the waiting game would start. August 5th will be the 120th day...and we were okay with that.

On May 25th we had our final homestudy where all of the paperwork was in order. We had finished our adoption classes, fingerprinted, criminal background checked..everything was ready. We were then told we would have an answer within 2 weeks. Two weeks would have been June 8th. June 8th passed and finally I was told we would be called on June 21st to let us know if we were accepted.

As I sit here, June 27th, with no answers. I am heartbroken. I have left emails, I have left voicemail messages and I have cried. (I have also screamed to the top of my lungs, when I've been home alone) It's like everyone has forgotten about us. I am sure the office is busy, and the world doesn't revolve around me, so I feel so guilty to be whining about this. But, and yes, there's always a but. With as much heartache as I've been through in my life (pity party will start now) I finally felt something was going to go right. There was going to be no more fertility medications to take, no more positive pregnancy test to get everyone excited and then weeks later having to let them down with the loss of the baby. I finally saw "my family" in the future. I dream at night of sitting around and laughing at the cute faces the baby is making. I see my friends children growing up and hoping I would get a baby soon, so they could have friends like mine.

I don't really ask for much. I asked God for a wonderful husband, I received that wish. He loves me. Me makes me believe I am a princess and always makes sure I am safe. I love him and would do anything for him, except...have a child. Sometimes I feel so guilty not being able to give him what he wants. He has never told me that he WANTS children, but the gleam in his eyes when I have told him I'm pregnant...priceless. I knew at the moment when I told him I was pregnant, that was something he had secretly been wishing for. With my first miscarriage..he held my hand the whole way. We cried together, we mourned together. I could hear our hearts breaking at the same time.

Everytime I lost a baby, he would tell me it's okay, we can try again. But, guess what? I'm tired of trying. I am tired of the process. I am tired of the waiting with no response. I am tired of the not knowing. Right now, I am trying to figure out what we are going to do. I told Mr. tonight, that maybe we weren't meant to have a baby. We can survive without children, people do it all the time...but once again, with that statement...I hear our hearts breaking all over again.

Random Thought...

2006-06-25T18:54:00.000-04:00

How is it, hubby and I can go HOURS without talking, but as soon as I go to the bathroom...

He has to come in to tell me something?!?!?!

A Birthday Is Coming...

2006-06-24T10:51:00.000-04:00

Mr. TSBs birthday is on the 30th. This is the first year I havent already planned something. Usually, we have a birthday party with cake, presents and fun. This year? I have no idea what we are going to do. I think he has figured out that I haven't thought much about it. Birthdays and holidays are fun around here. I normally ask for a list of stuff the "birthday boy or girl" wants and I aim to please. This year I havent even asked for the list. I guess I need to get my butt in gear and do something, plan something, or at least think about it.

Last year was the first year I baked the birthday cake. It was really goofy looking and it leaned a little..but the taste? Awesome!

This is what I want to do this year...looks yummy..right?

The Day After...

2006-06-22T10:11:00.000-04:00

I heard nothing yesterday. Nothing.

I have left a voicemail message and email.

I'll let you know when I hear something...good or bad.

Thanks for all the prayers and positive comments...its appreciated greatly!

THE Day...

2006-06-21T08:31:00.000-04:00

Todays the day....(scary music playing)...I hope I get the phone call.

Please, cross your fingers...your toes..and say a little prayer!

I will update as soon as I find something out.

UPDATES:

12:31....Nothing! (picks up the phone)..Yep, it's still working. Ring damnit! Ring!!!

3:51....Nothing!! (cries and cries) Why do I do this to myself? I should have known better than to get my hopes up.

5:46....Office has been officially closed for 46 minutes. Today, I didn't receive a phone call. I am hoping it's not a bad sign, just a bad day.

2 Days And Counting...

2006-06-19T15:14:00.000-04:00

Well, we have 2 days left before I am SUPPOSED to receive a phone call. Let's hope we do, and pray it's good. I am hoping to be approved and we can move on.

You may be wondering what we have have been doing and where I've been. Well, we decided to put together the crib, changing table, stroller, high chair, rocking chair...list goes on and on.

We are ready for the phone call..and we are NOW ready for the baby...we are not patient people around here!

Mr. TSB brought this home Thursday. He is SO excited! (on the foot it says "Babys First Teddy)

New Design?

2006-06-14T22:18:00.000-04:00

Im looking for a new design for this blog. Actually, for a different blog, for our future parenting adventures. Does anyone know where I can get someone to design one for me? Fairly reasonable? Quick?

If anyone knows of a designer..let me know...

Random Rambling...

2006-06-14T10:05:00.000-04:00

The "ghost" in our house is back to playing games. We have a ceramic boy and girl praying that my grandma (that passed away 5 years ago) made me when I was young and we have it on our dresser. Lately, the praying boy keeps getting turned around. As in...MOVING. It sure does make everything eery around here.

My other grandma, still living, is having MAJOR issues with this adoption process. She feels we should "accept the fact maybe God doesnt want us to have children" and that "we should deal with it" That when we adopt we "don't know what we will end up with" and "something to be wrong, like the child could go blind or something 6 months after having it" You don't know how mad that makes me to hear stuff like that. Total rage.

Oh, and she is coming down for 2 weeks. When? Sunday. Know what that means? She will be here when and if we get accepted. Talk about sucking the excitement out of the moment. Wonder what she will say when she sees the stuff we've bought (crib, car seat, bedding, etc.)?

Anyone watch Dog the Bounty Hunter on A&E? How come Duaine Lee (Dogs son and brother to Leland) is so hot but his dad and brother looks so bad?

In the summer, my hair gets so dry and brittle from the chlorine in the pool. I have found THE perfect shampoo. Dove Advanced Care Therapy. Get some. Go! Go!

A friend dropped off some childrens movies yesterday, and last night we were going through them and I asked if we should file the movie Mary Poppins with the porn or with regular movies. Mr. TSB didn't find it funny. I did.

7 more days! Yayy!

Two Things...

2006-06-09T20:37:00.000-04:00

First..

I have been VERY sick. Sick! My stomach has been hurting and I can't keep any food down..or in for that matter. I decided to go to the Dr. today..the results? My nerves. Shocking aint it? She told me to relax. Relax? Does she not know what I've been going through? Is she not the Dr. that had to fill out my 4 page medical report? She's nuts! So, I was told to relax, take walks, keep myself busy, etc. etc. Oh and gave me something to "calm" my stomach.

Second...

Last Wednesday, when I posted and said nothing was being done with our paperwork, the guy must have heard the disappointment in my voice or could see the tears running down my face over the phone..because what did he do? He came over to visit and had our final paperwork that will have to be signed when we are approved. He promised me that the process would get started and on the 21st of this month, he will personally call me and let me know one way or another. The 21st!! Thats less than 2 weeks away. Do you realize I could be a mom in less than a month? Do ya? Do ya?

A little side note: the number 21 is a special number in our family. All things good happens on the 21st. Everyone gets married on the 21st, ALOT of birthdays fall on the 21st, our house number? 21. We moved into our house on the 21st. We received our packet of paperwork on the 21st. So, when he said the 21st I thought my heart was going to jump out of my body. Go 2-1!!!

The Freaks Come Out At Night...

2006-06-08T13:42:00.000-04:00

For the last few weeks I have been trying to quit cursing and biting my nails. Yeah, I know neither has one to do with the other..but yet, I am trying, damnit!

Of course with this, craziness happens and the conversation we had last night is this..

Me: I havent been biting my nails but I feel the need...so can I bite yours?

Mr. TSB: No, ya freak (not even taking his eyes off the tv)

Me: To hell with it then

Mr. TSB: Ooohhhh you cursed..thats ching ching in the money jar!!

Me: Ching? Ching? NOW who's the freak?? Huh?

Mr TSB: Exactly!

Don't you wish you lived here??

Is It Moving?

2006-06-07T13:01:00.000-04:00

I found out today that our paperwork has not even started its process.

It's still sitting in a folder, untouched. I was told this morning..."Should be within 2 weeks."

Bleh.

I also need more ideas for Foto Friday...lets hear what you want to see...

La..La..La..

2006-06-05T16:18:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I'm still around. This waiting game? Is. KILLING. ME. We have been shopping and bought a few things that we will need once we are accepted and receive a placement. So, the room we have decided will be the "baby room" is full of stuff just sitting on the floor. I refuse to let Mr. put anything together until the "Letter" is in our hand.

It's going on the 2nd week and we haven't received anything. I have been trying to keep myself busy but all I can think about is the letter. the letter! The Letter! THE LETTER! Grr..it needs to come already!

I know I haven't posted alot lately, mainly because nothing new is happening around here. I don't think it's even passed the first desk yet. We have to be approved by 3 seperate people.

I am thinking about bringing back Foto Friday...so if there is something you want to see, leave it in the comments section and I'll see what I can do about it. (You can pick something to see from my house, my town, etc....only no nudes because I would fear blinding you!)

Secret Revealed...

2006-05-31T13:06:00.000-04:00

Ya'll want to hear what's been going on with me? Why I've been stressed and felt the need to OD on prozac? Why I have been so excited I could scream and so scared I could cry? Well..

After multiple miscarriages and failed cycles, we have decided we are going to adopt. Since the middle of March we have been working on it. We have finally finished ALL of our paperwork, all the inspections and had our FINAL homestudy last Thursday. So now we wait. We were told we should have our acceptance or denial (god forbid) letter within the next few weeks.

We will NEVER give up hope to have our biological child, but it's not happening for us right now. We have talked about this for a LONG time and finally decided to take the next step. It has been hard and very stressful. Our whole life has been documented..... past, present and future.

So, as soon as I get THE letter I will let everyone know.

I Failed To Mention...

2006-05-31T13:03:00.000-04:00

While at the lake this weekend, I was walking down the hill to the boat...and I slipped and fell on my ASS and slid all the way down the hill and under the boat in the lake. Um..yeah.

You can thank my husband for pointing out the fact I didn't tell ya'll.

He's dead to me. Ha!

Photos From My Weekend...

2006-05-30T09:23:00.000-04:00

This is where I spent the weekend

Golf Carts + Boat + Lake + Grilled Hot Dogs and Hamburgers = THE perfect weekend!

You can click HERE to see my pictures from the lake

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Whew...

2006-05-26T10:47:00.000-04:00

Spring has sprung
Fall has fell
Summers here
Its hot as hell.

The end.

Its the best I can do...I do appologize.

Question And Answer Time...Yayy!!

2006-05-24T17:46:00.000-04:00

Here's some questions I received...

Laura- hmmmmm.....Ok.....if you were stranded on a deserted Island and could have ONE person with you (not your husband)....who would it be?????

Who said I would take my husband? LOL I would probably take my mom, she's my best friend.

Debby- Are we gonna be the first people that you email on Thursday? We are lighting candles and praying for ya girl! If positive feelings count for anything - you are golden!

Yep, you bet! Thanks so much for the prayers!

Spinny- what happened to Foto Friday?

Well, to be honest, it seemed nobody was paying attention anyway. LOL I would ask what everyone would want to see a picture of, but usually got no response...I can always start back!

feydargonet- My husband and I have been going through somethings recently, and are going back to our yester-years, so my question to you is: What sort of things were you into in high school? Got pictures? My husband always heres my friends and I talking about how I fit into every group, the other day we got some pics out and he said "omg you really did get around didn't you?" I never thought of him taking it like that lol P.S. I didn't "get around" I was just friends with them all hehehe lol

I actually do have some pictures I could share from high school, but they are buried at the moment! In high school I was the type of girl that got along with everyone but when I would go to parties and stuff, I was always with the "popular crowd" I was into alot of things in high school, although studying wasn't one of them. My dad always joked around by saying, I would go to school, have a few meeting, get my messages and do lunch then head back home (haha) I was into boys and parties. Period. My husband and I have talked about the way we were in high school, he says I would have never given him a second glance. And he's probably right. We are so opposite, but in our marriage that works. Thank goodness I didn't know him in high school!

Tasha- *Can I know your secret you are holding from us??? LOL

No way, no how! LOL By the way, I haven't been able to catch you online to IM you..but I am truly sorry for what you are going through. Although, I can't catch you online, know I am thinking about you!

Thanks for playing with me...have more questions? Send em on...

And A Week Later...

2006-05-22T15:24:00.000-04:00

....she decides to let everyone know she's still alive. Ha! Anyway, hey people! I have been busy busy busy for the last week and decided to find some time to blog a bit. So on with some randomness...

It's been 90 and higher this whole weekend, so how come the pool water is so damn cold? Ive gotten in it everyday but BRRRRRRRRR I need a sweater bathing suit or something.

I like red/white gingham, why doesn't anyone else?

My hormones? Are. Out. Of. Control. Yep, I can go from 0-to- bitch in .000567 seconds.

Wanna know something I hate? When someone is fine with everything I am doing to my face, but behind my back questions everything.

I need a vacation. A real vacation.

Sorry, this is all I have for ya...not much is it? I need to have better post..but this is all I have for now.

Wanna play a game? Alright...in the comment box put a question about something you would like to know...and I will answer it for you. (Be nice) Please please play with me, that way I can have a better post tomorrow!

Mama! Mom! Mommy! Mother!

2006-05-13T22:24:00.000-04:00

Normally this time of year I get depressed. I think about what I wish I could have and what I never get. I think about my dreams and my wishes. My goals being destroyed. My endless tears and hissy fits because I can't have what I want.

But somehow this year seems different. I haven't shed a tear. I haven't felt sorry for myself. I believe I have learned life isn't fair, and just because you want something so desperately that you can feel your heart crashing into pieces time and time again, life goes on.

Or maybe I have grown up a little. Or maybe I just feel secure now. Either way...

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms, soon-to-be moms and future moms...I hope you have a wonderful day!

16 Days And Counting...

2006-05-09T20:50:00.000-04:00

Wanna know a secret? Do ya?

Great! In 16 days, I will be telling my secret...stay tuned...

Keyword This!

2006-05-07T23:27:00.000-04:00

I was looking at my stats tonight and here are some of the keywords people googled and they ended up on my website....

Jessica Alba Oops (Oops what? Were you looking for "Oops my shirt fell off" pictures? Shame on you!)

Blood Pressure 201/100 (It's scary knowing someone was looking that up, hope they're okay!)

Sweetart Shots (I was #1 website on google with this keyword...does that make me an alcholic?)

Confessions Of A Southern Belle Fayetteville (I lived in Fayetteville (Ft. Bragg) and all I can say is...RUN! RUN! RUN!!!!!!!!!! Don't even look back!)

SouthernBelle Big As (Big as what? A House? A Truck? What? When I googled it, it gave me porn sites...shame on you!)

Not bad, at least they finally stopped looking up Mary Poppins and reading about my hubby thinking shes hot!

My Eyes! My Eyes!

2006-05-07T23:20:00.000-04:00

As most of you know I am diabetic. Well, going through some changes and stress in my life, I have been choosing to eat "not so healthy" foods....therefor, my glucose levels are all over the board.

Well, for the last 2 days...my eyes are real bad. Its kinda like everything is fuzzy..

I know I need to see an eye doctor, its been a few years since I've seen one..but I really don't have time to set an appointment right now...

I hope I don't damage my eyes in the meantime! (And yes, I am going to try and get my glucose levels under control)

No, I Haven't Been Kidnapped....Yet!

2006-05-06T23:31:00.000-04:00

After getting rid of...

68 hot dogs
48 homemade cupcakes
160 homemade cookies
80 soft drinks
and 3/4 of all of our crap...

We brought in $1002.50 from our yard sale! I'm thinking this was a good weekend!

Plans For The Weekend...

2006-04-29T12:52:00.000-04:00

Gather stuff for the yard sale. Some friends heard what our money we get from the yard sale is going to (it's a secret for now), so they decided to bring stuff over for us to sale...Man, I love my friends.

Clean the outside of our house. We have siding, and we received a letter, along with our neighbors, that stated we needed to powerwash our siding because our "white" isn't clean enough. Yeah, gotta love homeowners association bylaws.

I need to set up appointments for puppy grooming and carpet shampoo.

I need to figure out what I am going to bake, because a friend of mine that is helping with the yard sale decided it would be FUN to sale baked goods and hot dogs. FUN! Yeah, we'll see.

One of our guest rooms we are clearing out. EVERYTHING MUST GO! (did my best salesman voice) I am ready to redecorate!

I am going to the hobby store and pick out a cross-stitching project. I haven't cross-stitched in YEARS, but I want to start again..and I assume I have a few extra hours a day, so why not?

I made plans for this evening to play cards and go out to dinner...so I am hoping I get something done off my list before then...but don't hold your breath!

What's your plans? Anything fun and exciting like mine? LOL Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! Be safe!

Oh, Excuse Me!

2006-04-26T18:45:00.000-04:00

Today we were at the mall and Mr. was looking for a pair of pants (he's lost 30lbs recently) and we were walking around talking and really not paying attention to much...

and then it happened...

He bumped into the mirror and then he looked up and said, "Oh excuse me" and kept on walking!!

He didn't even realized he had bumped into the mirror and he said "excuse me" to his own reflection! Before I could even say anything I was laughing so hard I couldn't even walk, so there I stood in the mall laughing so loud and so much and praying I don't pee my pants...and NO, we hadn't been drinking!

We don't belong out in public....

Random Rambling...

2006-04-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

We are trying to stop saying "bad words" in our house, so we have decided to put a quarter in a jar everytime we say a "bad word." I was going to go to the bank and ask for $500 worth of quarters, but the strange looks I would get isn't appealing to me today. Besides that, damnit, I can say bad words as long as nobody's around because it doesn't count, right? Opps! *ching ching*

Have you ever felt like you need to buy some important things, but too scared to buy it in fear of having to take it back? Yeah.

I have been craving kidney beans all week. I am thinking of making some sort of kidney bean, tomato, brown rice and cheese thing...sounds good? We'll see.

Everyone in my family including in-laws is acting very weird. I don't know what's up, but something is...(I'll keep you updated)

We are going to open our pool this weekend. Yayy!!

We are having a yard sale on May 6th. Come buy my crap.

I have spent the last 2 days printing recipes from MarthaStewart.com...God, I love her.

It's 94 today and the high tomorrow? 75.

My bathroom needs some sort of decoration. Do people actually put pictures on bathroom walls? I need to think about this one...

King Size Please...

2006-04-24T15:23:00.000-04:00

This is the cutest thing Ive ever seen..and I want it for MY bed...

Ohh La La

How Does Your Garden Grow?

2006-04-24T12:42:00.000-04:00

I am wanting to plant something like tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, etc. I don't want to plant in the ground, I prefer a container. Is it too late to plant something like that this year? What is best? How do I do it? When do I do it? See..I have always bought veggies and fruits from the store, but for some reason I am wanting to do this and I have no idea how to even get started...can someone out there help me?? Pleaseeeeee!

What A Weekend!!

2006-04-23T15:30:00.000-04:00

Guess what I did this weekend...Let me enlighten you...

Went to the ER twice in one day. That has to be some sort of record, right?

You might be wondering to yourself, how could it be? Oh, anything is possible with me!

Friday we decided to go to lake for a short bit, once we were there we took the golf carts off the trailer and decided to ride around a little. Well, it had been raining, but was clear for the most part. Well, Alicia and I took off on a trail and when we did I hit a hole that I TOTALLY didn't see and somehow we ended up driving off the trail and hitting a tree, and I bumped my head pretty bad. Mr. TSB insisted I go to the ER to be checked out, he said I was acting a little weird, obviously he hasn't been paying attention to me the last 4.5 years, I AM WEIRD. So, I went and was checked out and with a little bruising and a few scratches, I am fine.

So, we decided to go out to eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant with some friends and I had grilled shrimp and some rice. God it was good, as always. So we stayed there until 11 or so, and we were going to meet some other friends at the Waffle House for coffee and gossip. Well, all of a sudden I couldn't swallow. I could breathe, but not swallow. It felt like my tongue was swollen or something. So, I told Mr. we had to leave and we were headed home and then I told him to take me to the ER something isn't right.

By the time we got there, I was crying, shaking and it was real hard to breathe. I thought I was gonna die! So, they took me on back and took my blood pressure. 201/100 was the reading. I thought, OH MY GOD IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK! and I started panicking more! So, they grabbed a wheelchair and took me to a room, by this point I am flipping out. Normally, I am a very calm person when it comes to these sort of things, but this time? I had gone crazy. Then the vomiting started, oh my god the vomiting. Then all of a sudden I had 3 people working on me, checking glucose levels, blood pressure and listening to my heart. In the meantime I couldn't stop crying and the breathing was getting harder and harder.

Finally a Dr. came in and examined me, and told me I had some sort of allergic reaction, either to food or something in the air, he really didn't know but he was going to give me something for it, because my uvula (a.k.a. hanging down thing in the back of your throat) was swollen causing me to feel like I couldn't swallow. But, he also said I had worked myself into an anxiety attack and he was going to give me something to calm down. People? I thought they were gonna have to bring in a straight jacket, I had flipped out! So, finally the nurse came in, and gave me 2 shots in my ass, and within 5 minutes, I was so sleepy that I couldn't cry or panic anymore, I just wanted to sleep..the next thing I remember was waking up the next day. LOL Last time I did that, I was in college.

I am feeling much better now, and taking it easy. Hopefully, I will post again today.

I'm Really A Chunky Black Man...

2006-04-19T12:14:00.000-04:00

Have ya'll seen this? It's the My Heritage celebrity matchup.

So, I thought I would give it a try and see who I looked like, so I uploaded my picture and do you know who it says I look like? It gave a list...first up...

1. Forest Whitaker (So, I guess I look like a chunky black MAN! Hello?!?!)
2. Jessica Alba
3. Shiri Appleby
4. Tony Blair
5. David Oddsson
6. Judy Garland
7. Giancarlo Fisichella

Some I can deal with..but I would prefer to be a girl! LOL

UPDATE: Okay, so I wasn't satified with that list, so I chose a different picture, want to hear what I got then?

1. Billy Bob Thornton
2. Tom Petty
3. Jessica Lange
4. Penelope Cruz
5. Neil Kinnock
6. Mamoru Oshii
7. Marilyn Monroe
8. Johnny Knoxville
9. Elizabeth Hurley
10. Sugar Ray Robinson

I could have sent in a picture of my ASS and got better results..I'm going to go drown myself now!

Text Free Tuesday!!

2006-04-18T20:20:00.000-04:00

Mother Nature? She's A Cruel Bitch..

2006-04-17T18:04:00.000-04:00

This is what our thermometer registered outside today

He Loves Me...He Loves Me Not...

2006-04-16T02:09:00.000-04:00

Mr. loves me! He really does..

but...yeah, there's always a but...

he let it be known 2 things he isn't happy about today. Wanna hear what they are? Of course you do!

1. My newly painted toe nails...in Hot Pop Blue! (really, that's the name of the color)

2. I spent $368.75 at walmart this morning. (he's still mumbling something about its not humanly possible to spend that much money at walmart)

I am totally hoping that if I give him a basket of Easter goodies tomorrow..all will be forgotten..whatcha think?

Cause It's Hot..Hot..Hot..

2006-04-15T02:22:00.000-04:00

Good Lord it's only April and we are already in the mid-90s. Bleh. I hate being hot.

The end.

I Wish People Would Sign Their Names...

2006-04-12T22:56:00.000-04:00

This is a comment from this post:

Anonymous said...
Is it really your place to judge? Are you a good friend by gossiping about her and doing such? Why is she required to make a different life decisions because of your issues?

And because I am in one of those moods, here's what I have to say...
No, it's not my place to judge, but I do...everyone does, if you say you don't..you're lying. She isn't a close friend, it's just someone I know, more of an acquaintance. Gossip? Honey that's what I do best...again, everyone does, if you say you don't, you're lying. I haven't talked to her about any of "my issues" or "her issues" and what ever decision she makes is up to her, and she will have to live with it, not me. Stay tuned for more gossip and judging..and thanks for checking out my blog! Have a wonderful day!

Going To Bed With A Smile On My Face...

2006-04-12T00:33:00.000-04:00

I had a wonderful day today! I decided with all this stress and worry I just needed to get out and do something. So, a few friends of ours decided we would go to the lake and I called Mr. and after his meeting he came home. We loaded up the cooler and our golf carts (yep we have golf carts..its an Aiken thing I think) and off to the lake we headed. It takes about a hour to get there but once we are there its awesome! We all got on Brandons boat and went out on the lake. The fish, the geese, the water...all so beautiful. After we got out of the water we all took our golf carts out and went down the trails and saw many many deer, a few skunks, wild turkeys, and the list goes on and on. It's really nice to get away, no cellphone signal so doctors cant call, family cant call, friends cant call...it was just nice. We are thinking about going back up there on Sunday and spending Easter up there instead of staying around the house like we normally do.

Wow, it's nice to just have a perfect day and forget about all the worries....

Text Free Tuesday!!

2006-04-11T13:31:00.000-04:00

Well, One More Downer..

2006-04-10T23:26:00.000-04:00

Shocking, huh? Well, for the last week or so my life has been a mess. A MESS! I hate the "not knowing", the "unpredictable" and the "sit back and let's wait and see" Bleh.

So, instead of sitting around the house and letting question after question run through my head, I decided to go out Friday night. As soon as I got there a friend of mine came to me and said, "You're not gonna believe this! I've got to tell you something." So, she sat down beside me to tell me..

Her: You know, (name deleted) is pregnant?
Me: Um, she's like 50, right?
Her: Yeah and she said its one of 2 men thats the babys dad.
Me: Who's the 2?
Her: (Name deleted) and umm..
Me: Whoa..isnt his wife pregnant right now too?
Her: Yeah, but shes going to have an abortion anyway so she doesn't have to tell anyone.

Okay, if you have even known me for a 1/8th of a second you would know, I want a child. Everyone around me knows. And now, a friend of mine, 50 years old, is going to abort a baby because she isn't resposible enough to protect herself from a MARRIED man. It ruined the rest of my night. I shouldn't let things like this bother me, but how can I avoid it?

Pass The Happy Pills Please...

2006-04-09T18:59:00.000-04:00

For almost 2 weeks now I have been dealing with alot of stress. Stress from family, stress from friends and stress from Mr. We are in the process of changing some things around in our lives and some people doesn't know when to keep their $.02 to theirselves. And then others? When asked, refuses to give their $.02 worth. Go figure.

I haven't been able to sleep, eat or even think straight. I am more stressed than I have ever been. I am a total bitch, to everyone. That's how I deal with stress, I turn my bitch mode on. Sadly, Mr. is the only one that is around so he's catching the brunt of it, bless his heart. He's dealing with it okay and sometimes how he doesn't just fall into a fetal position and cry his eyes out over my bitchiness, is beyond me. Man, he loves me unconditionally.

Although, he's no saint. I have an appointment somewhere Monday and he needs to go with me, so I told him to leave early tomorrow from work so he can meet me. He asked me what time and I said 11:30 and then all day he's been saying 12. My head is going to explode off my shoulders. See? I'm crazy.

I truly believe I need some sort of medicine that will calm my nerves, but my dr. says theirs nothing out there for me, right now. So, like later there will be? I need it NOW not LATER. I told her that I could flip at any time and pinch someones head off. She just laughs...

Usually, I am a polite person. I let alot roll off my back, although some may not believe it, I just play a tough girl online. But, at walmart the other night at 2am...I told I guy I would rip his balls off and give them back to him as earrings...see? (BTW, I don't even know what he did or said)

I have screamed at Mr. and my mom all weekend for everything. If I'm not screaming, I'm crying. I don't deal well with stress...AT. ALL.

So, hopefully it will all be over with soon enough, and life will be back to normal. Or at least that's what I hear Mr. whispering softly in his prayers at night.

I'm Crying Inside And Nobody Knows It But Me...

2006-04-08T03:24:00.000-04:00

Enough said. I'll be back in a few days.

Am I Doomed For Hell?

2006-04-06T14:07:00.000-04:00

I can't go to Hell for actually giggling out loud at this, right?

Random Thoughts...

2006-04-06T10:25:00.000-04:00

Guess where I am. Can't guess? I'll tell ya. I am sitting outside typing this! Yep I am finally wireless! Yay! I'm not computer literate so after 3 phone calls to Lynksys and my internet service company I have it installed! Am I loving this? Oh yeah.

I went to the Dr. yesterday and my blood pressure was better, but not the best...but the Dr. is hoping it will get better. I have lost 8 pounds in a little over a week. I have been nauseated and she is a little worried about me losing that much, that fast. So, I will see her again next Friday.

Did ya'll watch American Idol last night? Can you believe who was voted off? I'm NOT happy. I was really hoping Bucky would be gone, or Paris (she reminds me of a smurf, dont ask), or Ace. I also don't like Catherine McPhee. But, Chris? Wow..he's hot. hot. hot.

I am wanting to redecorate one of my guest bedrooms. Right now its in pink and white with oil paintings of ballerinas hung on the wall. I love the room but it's time to change it. I have no idea what I want to change it to, though. I'll let you know what I decide.

I want to try something different on here, because I feel I am boring ya'll. I tried Foto Friday, but it seemed to be a bust...So, if ya'll have any ideas..email me at wolfy_jennATyahooDOTcom. I am also thinking of changing my blog name. I don't know exactly what I want to change it to, but I have some ideas.

Received a speeding ticket yesterday. Bleh.

The Masters is going on here and the traffic if UN. BEE. LEAVE. ABLE. Next person that sits through a green light because they are on a cellphone or cut me off...I'm knockin them over the head with a golf club.

Big Love...Big Addiction...

2006-04-02T19:09:00.000-04:00

Have ya'll seen the new show Big Love? Well, I have..and I am hooked! Hooked I tell ya! I don't really have time to post anything else right now..but if you don't have HBO, get it! Well, whatcha sitting there for? Go! Go! Go!

Here's a link to the show... Big Love

Confessions Of A Tarnished Southern Belle

We're Baccckkkk...

Protector, Mom, Chearleader and Best Friend...

Jesus, Pass The Snacks Please..

Music To Our Ears...

What To Say...What To Say...

Wheee!

Dear Internet Moms....HELP!

We're Back...

She Will Be Missed...

Quietness Usually Means Sadness..(At Least With Me)

Here Comes Santa.....Hopefully!

Decking The Halls...

What Happened To November??

Lions And Tigers And Carnies...Oh My!

The Unthinkable Has Happened...

Back To Our Program..

A Busy Weekend Coming Up...

It's Official..

My Sad Reality...

My Biggest Pet Peeve Is...

Math Class

My Little Snugglebug!

Tag, I'm It!

Whew..What A Week!

He's Free!

My Little Snugglebug!

It's A Boy!

Posting Two Days In A Row...

A Simple Hello..

Same Old Thing..

Three Things I've Learned...

Holy Hell Batgirl...

From Bad To...

Wow! Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

I'm Still Alive...

My Heart Melted...

Things I've Learned About Being A Mom In The Last 24 Hours...

I'm A Mom!

Problems..Problems..Everywhere..Do Da..Do Da

You Want Romance? I'll Give You Romance!

To Pull Or Not To Pull...*updated*

I Love Him..

Blogging Questions....

Rest In Peace, My Dear Friend

My First 13 Thursday!

Big Brother....Big Lover!

Update..

Doctor In The House? Warning: TMI

What Are You Doing?

He Noticed..

Okay, So I Fine Now..

All Hope Is Now Gone..

Nothing..

Tick..Tock..Tick...Tock..

Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!

I'm Tired.

Random Thought...

A Birthday Is Coming...

The Day After...

THE Day...

2 Days And Counting...

New Design?

Random Rambling...

Two Things...

The Freaks Come Out At Night...

Is It Moving?

La..La..La..

Secret Revealed...

I Failed To Mention...

Photos From My Weekend...

Whew...

Question And Answer Time...Yayy!!

And A Week Later...

Mama! Mom! Mommy! Mother!

16 Days And Counting...

Keyword This!

My Eyes! My Eyes!

No, I Haven't Been Kidnapped....Yet!

Plans For The Weekend...

To Pull Or Not To Pull...updated